A Broken Glass Cannot be filled with Water
After getting out of an emotionally exhausting and abusive relationship in the past few years, I made a big mistake.
I immediately tried finding new relations and connections to make me feel happy and engaged. I tried to ignore my inner self, which was emotionally exhausted from an abusive relationship, and I tried to recover by having new connections.
I tried to create noise around me so I could ignore the voices in my head. I struggled with this for many years and wondered why I was unhappy with my new friends or relationships.
It took me many years to finally hear the voices in my head that I have been ignoring and trying to bury in the so-called noise around me.
After wasting many precious years, I realized I needed to listen and address those voices.
Those are my broken feelings and emotions that need time to heal.
I started building new relationships where I valued and cared for myself. I am still struggling with this process, but I want to write about this unseen war that the majority of people are fighting with themselves and cannot find a way to win.
Human behavior and feelings have always been the most complicated thing to understand. We cannot apply a fixed formula or definition to explain certain emotions or feelings. Human behavior and emotions are as complex and strange as our creation.
I have always struggled to understand my feelings and attitude. Many of us have gone through the same place when we do not know the reason behind our behavior. We act strangely in many situations and never realize the real reason or factor affecting our behavior.
I try to create metaphors to explain my behavior and feelings. It becomes easy to understand with simple metaphors, at least for me.
Let’s try to understand a simple metaphor.
Try to fill a glass with water. A regular glass can be filled with even 1/4th liter of water. On the other hand, take a piece of cracked and broken glass. Now, start pouring some water into it. What will happen?
The water will keep running out from cracks in the glass. You might end up pouring the whole jug or bottle into it, but it will never be filled. Right?
Now, take yourself as that glass; water is the love that you get from people and your surroundings. If you have no cracks or broken places inside you, you will feel complete even with 1/4th liter of water. You will be happy and satisfied with the love you get from your loved ones. But, if there are some broken areas inside you, you will never feel happy or fulfilled, even if someone is pouring unlimited love onto you.
Did you get my point?
We know some people who are happy and satisfied with little effort. If you make a little effort towards them, they will be happy and satisfied immediately. But we also know some people who never seemed delighted no matter how much time or life we give them.
It is a simple observation that when people are not healed, they will never feel satisfied and loved even as they get lots of love.
But after filling those little gaps that keeps the water running, they will be filled with even a little water.
Of course, it can be challenging to recover those broken areas. We cannot just put on some bandages and hope to be recovered. I look forward to discussing ways to heal yourself, but the first step is to identify and understand these areas.
We need to be aware that we have to work on ourselves. It is the first step that we recognize our broken places and stop complaining to other people that they are not giving enough love to us.
Let’s discuss some steps that are important to getting to know you.
1. Spend time with yourself
Alone time provides an opportunity for self-discovery. It allows you to explore your interests, passions, and hobbies without external influences, helping you better understand what brings you joy and fulfilment. Solitude can be a catalyst for personal growth. It allows you to set personal goals, work on self-improvement, and develop new skills.
Remember that spending time with yourself doesn’t necessarily mean isolation or loneliness. It’s about intentional moments of solitude to nurture your well-being and personal development. Whether through quiet reflection, pursuing interests, or simply enjoying your company, this practice can contribute significantly to a balanced and fulfilling life.
2. Meditation
Meditation is well-known for its ability to reduce stress. Mindful meditation, in particular, helps individuals become more aware of their thoughts and feelings, leading to a calmer state of mind. Regular meditation practice can enhance cognitive function and improve concentration and attention span. It encourages the mind to focus on the present moment, reducing mental distractions. Meditation is linked to improved emotional health. It can help manage anxiety, depression, and other mood disorders by promoting a more positive outlook and emotional resilience. It also encourages self-reflection and self-awareness. Individuals can better understand their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors through mindfulness practices.
3. Forgive yourself for the past
Forgiving yourself for the past is crucial to personal growth and emotional well-being. It lets you release negative emotions tied to past mistakes, promoting emotional healing and well-being. Forgiving yourself is an act of self-compassion. It acknowledges that everyone makes mistakes and that you deserve understanding and kindness from yourself. Dwelling on past mistakes can hinder personal growth. Forgiveness enables you to let go and move forward with a positive mindset. Letting go of guilt and shame associated with past actions contributes to improved mental health. It reduces the burden on your mind and can alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression.
4. Taking a break from social media
Taking a break from social media can positively affect your well-being. A break from social media can reduce feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness associated with constant comparison and information overload. Without social media distractions, you may find yourself more focused and productive in other areas of your life and get to your actual thoughts, interests and areas of happiness, too.
5. Have some hobbies
Having hobbies is a fantastic way to engage in activities you enjoy, unwind, and foster personal growth. The key is to choose hobbies that genuinely interest you. Experiment with different activities until you find ones that bring you joy and fulfilment. Hobbies are a great way to find yourself and your interest in life.
6. Personal growth and development
Personal growth and development refer to the continuous process of improving oneself, expanding one’s potential, and enhancing various aspects of life. It involves intentional efforts to develop skills, foster self-awareness, and better understand one’s values and purpose.
These are the steps that will make you closer to you. It is essential to know your actual interests and values. This way, you can give yourself the love, respect and understanding you deserve and eventually sets on journey to recover yourself.
