How Much Should You Compromise in a Relationship
Compromise isn't surrender.
8 years ago, my wife had the idea that we should move to Thailand. I said yes. I didn’t ask for anything in return, I didn’t set any conditions. I just said we’d go where she wanted to go.
It didn’t feel like I was compromising at all. We both needed a change and the move provided us with plenty of novelty. We never regretted it. In fact, the only thing I regret is that we didn’t stay there (but that’s a story for another day).
Sometimes I wonder — did that count as a successful compromise? I did what she wanted and there was no “meeting each other halfway”. It turned out great for us. Could this be the secret to a happy marriage?
The short answer is no.
In this case, things turned out really well because we were already on the same page — it’s just that she got to the solution more quickly than I did. But most of our other conflicts took a lot of work to resolve. Compromise is usually much more complicated than one person bringing up an idea and the other one agreeing to it.
Making Compromises Is a Core Part of the Human Experience
We learn to compromise as soon as we start understanding the world around us.
