HUMOR
“I Have My Own Column!” Said The World’s First Man
Do I deserve a column? No. Can I love it? Yes I can!
I’ve got a column in my school’s newspaper. It’s an advice column.
Students send questions, I give advices. Students say thank you by calling my work “grumpy drivel.”
Here are a few gems.
Enjoy.
Q: Where are good places to go sledding on campus?
A: You’ll want to look for a place where there’s gravity, snow, and an elevated landform called a “hill.” Go crazy.
Q: Should I use ChatGPT to help me with my homework?
A: Why not? It’s using you to help with its homework, which is global subjugation. We will soon be grease for the machines. Have fun with ChatGPT while you still can. This is humanity’s last year. I promise.
Q: How do I stay warm while walking to class in the winter?
A: Here’s how layers work. You start the day like the rest of us: naked and ashamed. Then you put on underthings. The church calls this process “girding,” and church…
