My Experience of Getting Seduced
And how to NEVER get seduced by a heartbreaker again
Have you ever been obsessed with somebody? Someone you can’t resist? Can’t get them out of your head?
It feels bloody difficult to keep thinking of somebody. Fantasizing about them, and hoping to tie the knot someday. It’s hard to let go of them. Isn’t it?
For a good part of my life, I’ve thought about these irresistible seducers (in my case, guys).
What makes some people so seductive? How do they get into your head so fast and stay so long? I’ve wondered what makes them so magnetic.
And after years of research and deep thinking. I’ve come up with the exact formula for why a guy seems so seductive, how do they get into your skin, mind, and heart? And how can you protect yourself from heartbreak?
Let’s get right into it —
Seduction is an obsession that a person feels for somebody. That’s seduction in simple words. It’s a way to make you obsessed with somebody.
Now why does the obsession develop? It’s because you lack something. And when somebody being extra clever and observant gives you what you crave? You can’t resist.
For example, a girl in her early years never quite felt loved enough. She longs for affection and attention. A guy intent on seduction gives her that and more.
To a girl, this feels like a goldmine. A treasure. She has tasted something she longed for, for so many years.
But the guy has hit the button and gets control over her.
Now the girl obsesses over this guy. She’d never let go of him. NEVER. As a result, she does everything to keep him. Sometimes she even goes beyond her capacities. Does what she’d in general never do.
No matter how much she tries to please him, the guy loses interest soon enough.
What you just read is something almost everyone has experienced (or will experience) at some point in their life. If you take a closer look at it, that’s how seduction starts.
First, the person makes you feel comfortable. Establishes rapport, pretends to be trustworthy. Pay attention to how they make you feel — it feels like you have entered ‘the zone’.
It’s the feeling you don’t get every day. Anything which feels ‘out of this world’ or ‘larger than life’ where you lose the sense and meaning of the past and future… if you start feeling that, you should be on your guard.
Once you’ve started to feel comfortable, you open up. And share deep stuff you never shared with anybody.
It enrages me how easily we can trust somebody, put our heart in their hands, and let them do whatever they wanna do with it — only to be betrayed.
But no matter what I say, someone is still making this mistake. Make sure you are not one of them.
As you open up and share deep stuff about yourself and life (like you never did before), the seducer is secretly taking mental notes of everything. Deeply observing your weak spots.
Anything you said will be used against you 10 months from now.
Seducers are able to figure out what exactly you lack in your life which they can fill. Because that’s essential in seduction.
After having a couple of conversations, they have figured out what you lack. And they are ready to give you the very same thing.
What we crave most depends on the person, but tenderness and attention are the most common options.
But tenderness and attention aren’t always sincere. Just because somebody is pretending to take care of you doesn’t mean he truly loves you. It could be because he is bloody horny.
And because a person is paying attention to you doesn’t mean they’re truly listening. It might mean that the person is trying to know your weak spots. Be extra wary of people who make you feel disconnected from reality.
One thing I’ve noticed in them is their exceptional ability to read my mood. As if they operate my brain, they exactly know what I need or feel. To me, that’s seductive af.
But it only ends badly to fall for their allure. I’m not doing it anymore.
Put your guard on when someone correctly reads your mind. Don’t let them sense it.
Now that they can read your moods (and adjust to your moods), they exactly give you what you need… some of the time.
I’ve felt this 100 times: when my mood is off the person tries to be loving and caring. Extra nice.
Then, when I’m feeling elated, the person is cold. Wtf! My mind feels confused. My brain screams, “How can you be the same person? Why so fickle?”
It’s the bloody push and pull you experience. Once the person is warm and nice. It feels like you had the best time of your life. Only to realize…
The next week the same person becomes extremely cold. You wonder what happened? What did I do to put him off?
The reality? Sweetheart, you didn’t do anything. These are the calculating moves of a habitual seducer. Being nice and friendly so you chase them, being cold so you get confused and insecure?
Notice, the coldness is not so much that it’d make you feel 100% rejected. But it’s enough to make you more aggressively chase afterthem.
You reach out, hoping to feel the warmth you once felt. So you overdo it (double texting, too many calls just to enquire). Feels relatable?
But in all this, they remain distant and elusive. You never quite know what exactly they’re thinking and what they’re up to.
Red Flags You Should Notice In Yourself
- When you find yourself thinking about someone for more than 3 days, you might have have been seduced. The good part? This is the initial stage so you can back off anytime. If you feel the obsession setting in, time to WITHDRAW.
- When you go that extra mile to do something for somebody. Or you’re being far too accommodating and considerate. You do things you never do for anybody. That can be a sign you’re not thinking clearly.
- When your friends and parents tell you to stay away from somebody. They might be seeing something you’re not ready to see.
- A sudden change in routine. Say you usally pray every day but suddenly you’ve stopped. In general, you feel a bit aimless and find it hard to be alone with your thoughts.
- Lack of purpose or goals, outside of being with that person.
Pro Tip
Don’t share past traumas, at least in the first few conversations.
It’s human to share the problems weighing down on you. But to be honest, you’re sure to come across as needy or desperate. Some men will cut ties with you then and there — that’s the better outcome. Some will realize you’re an easy target.
So keep your backstory to yourself. Journal it out if your soul feels heavy. But don’t share with your new acquaintance until enough time has passed that they’ve truly earned your trust.
Not every man out there is waiting to seduce you. But enough of them are that you should guard your heart before everything else.
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