Saying Nice Things to Ourselves Does More Than You Think
When was the last time you said something nice to yourself?
We often forget to respect ourselves because we try to be as kind as possible to others.
..and that’s perfectly fine.
That is, in fact, what human beings should all strive for — not being selfish.
It’s just that I see many close people and myself being overly nice to others and forgetting completely about themselves.
Now that is not ok anymore.
And don’t get me wrong, I live to serve those around me, and I want to make my family proud of me—not caring whether I’m happy.
So I know what some of you are thinking,
But what I wanted to share with you today is not necessarily forgetting about others; as a matter of fact, it’s completely the opposite.
It’s something that will take you a mere 5 minutes per day.
And it will boost your esteem by unimaginable amounts.
Simply Praise Yourself
I will say it once again here: I do not like patting myself on the head.
For me, David Goggins is the big picture, and what he says is, “You have to look in the mirror and tell yourself you are a loser,” so I think similarly.
But sometimes, ONLY when there is a reason for it, we have to tell ourselves that we did a good job—mostly because a lot of times we did.
There are two types of people who think:
- That everything they do is evil.
- That everything they do is exceptional.
Neither of these people is who we (you and I) should strive to be.
All of us sometimes make mistakes, and all of us sometimes do something that deserves recognition; there is no point in saying otherwise.
I myself was quite pessimistic about what I do.
Until I balanced it out, well.
You Have to Judge Yourself Fairly
Don’t be pessimistic about yourself.
When you do something well, acknowledge it; tell yourself or simply think about the fact: “Dang, I really did it.”.
Even if it’s something small,
Many people tend to be extremely harsh with themselves; others, the opposite.
You should instead be judging yourself based on how you would have judged yourself yesterday.
Because that’s the only way that makes it fair.
The only competition in your life is with yourself. No one else is like you, so why would you bother comparing yourself to others?
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
I say this to people whenever they feel disappointed in themselves.
Do you know why?
Because usually, that disappointment comes from them being worse than others—which should be completely irrelevant.
The only thing you should be worrying about is being a little better than you were yesterday.
That’s the approach I use, althiugh a bit differently.
I add 1 km to my runs every single week.
And guess what? First, it’s much easier to increase the distance like that. Second, it’s a feeling of achievement every single day.
Very simple and extremely actionable information.
Don’t Exaggerate, Though
There is a quote I love: “Hardworking people do a lot and think they are not doing enough; lazy people do little and think they are doing a lot.”
And it’s the truth.
I see many people, my peers, thinking they are somehow important in the world, that they have accomplished something; when in reality, just like many others, they are nobodies.
..thing is that they are the low-end nobodies.
Reason for that? Because they don’t even try.
I’m sure you understand what I mean right now. We all have those around us with egos that are too big.
So, the Praising Part
I am sure you thought that I got off-topic with my previous paragraphs, but I didn’t, at all.
Everything I talked about was about praising oneself.
It doesn’t necessarily have to be words.
Simply acknowledging the fact that you did something good, even for one single second, only in your mind, is already praising yourself.
And for those wondering, many do not do this.
Sometimes, literally praising also works.
And this is where I get to your definition of commending and praising oneself.
Sometimes, literally talking to yourself can be extremely useful.
Just have a deep, soulful reflection.
Meditation is a great way to accomplish this.
Here are a few other ways.
- Take a walk outside (silent one).
- Go for a jog.
- Go to the gym.
Just think about life, haha.
I write on Medium to help you, follow me :)
Thanks a lot for reading!
-Vladimir
