Stop Avoiding Your Triggers
Because the underlying trauma isn’t going anywhere.
We all have trauma, and trauma or no trauma, we all get triggered. Being “triggered” can mean a lighthearted emotional response to something, or it can mean serious psychological and physical reactions that go as far as unearthing one’s PTSD. Whichever the case is, whatever is “triggering” you, it’s meant to be looked at, not avoided.
I remember the first time I felt “triggered”, the kind where my emotional response transported me back to a hideous event in my life. I was reading Stephen King’s novel, “Gerald’s Game”, and the female protagonist was unveiling a repressed memory. I put the book down and hid in my closet. From there I never finished the book. I couldn’t.
I don’t remember how or when I moved past the triggering event but one day I read an article concerning sexual assault between band members in Avi Buffalo and I found myself sympathizing. I didn’t hide. My feelings were not hurt beyond the misfortune of another. All that happened was I read an article and understood what it said.
For some people being triggered is worse. It’s debilitating, resulting in panic attacks and other PTSD reactions. With medical attention, this can be overcome.
“Men are disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and notions which they form concerning things.” — Epictetus “The Enchiridion”
Our triggers reveal what we need to work out within ourselves
Being triggered is a part of the emotional experience we have as human beings. Triggers help us learn more about ourselves, why we feel the way we do, and, most importantly, when we get brutally honest with ourselves, it reveals our part in our own misgivings. Triggers are the catalysts for personal development and healing. When we look at why we’re discomforted in the present moment, and trace that back to prior experiences, we have the chance to accept things for how they happened and move on.
Coming from a background of disordered eating (bulimia nervosa) and substance abuse, I had a lot of triggers to overcome. And once I got honest, a skill that continuously develops, I began to take responsibility for my part in being triggered. Furthermore, I made the conscious decision to stop wallowing and focus more on change. More often than not I find myself thinking about what I can do about my emotions as opposed to staying stuck in them. Moreover, because of facing triggers and talking honestly about them with the intention of moving past them, I have come to accept my former path and I’m currently learning how to use my experience to create a better present.
Of course my trauma looks different than someone who grew up on the other side of the world: an army war veteran, abandoned child, displaced refugee, etc. Sometimes bad things happen to people who are completely innocent in the matter. In other cases we put ourselves in a position to be hurt. Does a U.S. army soldier truly not know what he is signing up for? Did I not make decisions based on insecurity and fear that lead to compromising situations?
When we avoid our triggers, we also avoid the possibility of healing our past harms. Our past harms are going nowhere. They stay with us. And it’s not so much about the topic before us that’s inherently triggering, but that in ourselves which sprouts in its atmosphere. As the famous stoic philosopher Epictetus was quoted saying, “Men are disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and notions which they form concerning things.” When moving past traumatic harms, sometimes we just have to accept that certain events are what life had in store for us.
Trigger warnings
We’re now in a time where “trigger warnings” are commonplace online and in our classrooms. Before reading a Twitter thread, watching a YouTube video, or engaging with a text for lecture, you can expect a “TW” or similar forewarning in a description. This is not exactly a new trend as the cinema world also displays movie and T.V. ratings before audiences to inform of a series’ or movie’s appropriateness. And the latter is a good thing as we wouldn’t want our children to unnecessarily watch explicit material. But in the adult world, this can be a bigger hindrance than it is a helpful resource.
As a committee in the American Association of University Professors so eloquently put, “The presumption that [people] need to be protected rather than challenged… is at once infantilizing and anti-intellectual. It makes comfort a higher priority than intellectual engagement… ” Although this quote is from an essay written for the higher educational domain, it can also relate to our personal lives. Should we not look critically at ourselves? Even if something upsets us, can we not still judge it outside of our own experiences and ideas, thus looking at the whole instead of just a piece? Should we not examine our behaviors, underlying motives, and thought processes? If we disregard doing so, we run the risk of intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually stumping ourselves. We fail to move forward in life as we could when promoted by healing and growth.
Of course facing understanding your triggers and resolving the personal issues which come forth is a process. First there’s the acknowledgment of a previous (most likely) traumatic experience that comes to the surface when “triggered”. Next there’s the willingness to confront past traumas, to sit, process, and understand it. Lastly, there’s the willingness to let go of the pain and move on.
Reality has most likely changed since the traumatic event that causes one to be triggered. Therefore it’s important to note that things have changed and life is not as it once was. Remembering this when triggered is a grounding thought that can help you move on.
When it comes to triggers, we have two options; we can hide from them, burying and ignoring them, or we can gently, and honestly, confront them.
We can’t expect life to halt or censor itself for our well-being. Bad things happen and life is as beautiful as it is painful. Do triggers really cause unnecessary pain? And, thus, might we need “trigger warnings” to tip-toe life around adults, or are triggers just signals telling us where we have unresolved issues within ourselves?
