To Manage Adult ADHD, Treat It Like A Really Shitty Pet
Or a Tamagotchi, whatever’s in your heart
Here is how my 14-year-old dog lets me know he’d like to go outside:
First, he lumbers down off of the bed on his special wooden stairs, which are very noisy. Then, he lingers in the hallway like a chatty neighbor who makes meaningful eye contact until you finally ask how he’s doing.
If boring a hole into me from 10 yards away doesn’t help, he will then start shuffling his feet to ensure I can’t ignore him. He is still staring at me as his little paws tip-tap on the floor. If I’m still unmoved, he will start to walk toward the bathroom, which is where he will ultimately rage-pee if I don’t get up fast enough. The longer I wait — if I’m, say, finishing a thought — the more irritating and obtrusive the behavior becomes.
My ADHD is honestly very similar. The more I try to bend it to my will, the more I realize that in fact, its will has to set the tone. Just as I am perpetually at the mercy of the capricious mind of an ancient chihuahua, I am also always trying to plan around and make concessions to my asshole brain.
I don’t know what it’s like for folks who were diagnosed and treated with ADHD at a young age, so their mileage may have varied. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my…
