Two Words From My Therapist That Changed My Life

Her surprising advice gave me license to be myself without apology.

Photo by Callie Gibson on Unsplash

First, it’s worth knowing that my therapist “Laura” is one of the gentlest, kindest people I’ve ever known. As in, she has a Zen master calm about her. Given the story that I’m about to tell, also know that she doesn’t normally swear as she did that day. She is a beautiful and elegant woman who wears exquisite, expensive shoes and great clothes, which shouldn’t matter in a therapist. But I find a well-dressed therapist to be reassuring and aspirational.

The fact that Laura’s such a composed and dignified person made what she said to me in therapy that much more shocking. Actually, the two words coming from anyone could be taken as just plain offensive. But once she said them to me, those two words imprinted on me like a psychic tattoo. They have become my life mantra. These two mono-syllabic words made as much of an impact as all of the wise, well-articulated advice she’d given me for years.

Every couple of weeks I would come and plant myself in her small, stylish, sun-lit office and say something that wasn’t entirely true. Like, “I destroy everything.” She’ll look at me with her piercing blue eyes that don’t flinch when she’s getting a point across, even and especially if that point makes me feel…