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A MOTHER’S CURSE
You Kiss Your Children With That Mouth, Mother?
I swear on a stack of mothers
It happened on a bridge.
My mother said “SHIT!” on a bridge in Waterville, Maine.
We the children were kids then, kids who didn’t have swearing parents. It went further than that: We didn’t even have swearing grandparents. When Grandmother got mad or overwhelmed, she said “Holy boy!” When Grandfather got mad overwhelmed, he said “Filth!” and “Swine!” and “Stinkin’ rotten pig!”
In our house, we weren’t allowed to say
- “butt”
- “crap”
- “sucks”
- or “shut up.”
We had to say
- “bottom”
- “poo”
- “shucks”
- and “No more, please. I appreciate you.”
To further protect our mouths, Mom and Dad sent us to a religious school.
The theory: Block all evil by surrounding a kid with God.
However, many parents don’t know this:
- While a number of mothers and fathers send their good and innocent children to God School so they’ll stay good and innocent, a few (all the other parents) dump their…