Moms Should Get Paid
what I learned today: don’t leave three kids under five upstairs by themselves with a large suitcase and foot lotion within reach
Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids and I’m very blessed. But, for three hours yesterday I thought I was literally going to lose my mind.
My wife left the house for a few hours to run an errand and then take an afternoon Yoga class and I was left home alone with my three adorable children who are all under age five.
This isn’t the first time this has happened…my wife enjoys time out of the house practicing Yoga, etc on a regular basis. However, this is the first time in a long time that all 3 kids were out of my eye’s view: they were upstairs and I was downstairs.
I get distracted quickly so before you know it I had been downstairs for nearly 20 minutes before realizing that it was totally silent upstairs.
Suddenly the silence was broken and I hear this from my 3 year old son: “Daddy! Mattie is being bad.”
Never a good sign when your 3 year old has concluded that the 18 month old is being “bad”.
I quickly ran upstairs and stumbled upon this scene:
- My 3yr old son in a Rapunzel dress, wig and high heels.
- My 4yr old daughter trying to put makeup on my son.
- My 18 month old daughter used a suitcase to climb on my bed, get my wife’s foot lotion off her night stand and then proceeded to rub it all over her face, on her lips, in her mouth, down her dress and all over my bed spread.
- Not to mention all of their rooms (and mine) looked like the aftermath of a bomb going off and exploding toys from wall to wall.
Awesome.
I will withhold the first thought that passed through my mind and tell you my second thought: “how does my wife do this all day while I’m at work and not go crazy?”
It’s so hard being Mom.
I don’t know how she does it, every day, every hour, every moment.
In the minutes during the aftermath I was overwhelmed with two realizations:
1. I could never do this alone everyday.
2. My wife should be getting paid an enormous amount of money to do what she does.
In comparison to my work, her efforts are far more complex and have a true lasting impact.
This quote from C.S. Lewis comes to mind:
“Homemaker is the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only — to support the ultimate career.” - C.S. Lewis
The reality is that I can’t pay my wife with money and I can’t expect her to “do it” alone if I can’t. But, I can pay her with my time and be there to support what she’s doing with unwavering commitment.
If we strive to be better Dads, we can start by being better husbands.
This unraveling (literally) a week before Father’s Day was ironically appropriate. Father’s Day has traditionally been a day of celebration and praise for Dads…
But what this situation made me wonder was:
What if this Father’s Day, instead of spending the day receiving praise and love we gave it to our family instead?
What if this Father’s Day we recommited ourselves to be there for our wives and support their work?
What if this Father’s Day it wasn’t about us, but about them?
The truth is with kids…. the messes will come, the disasters will happen, frustration and pain will happen and one person will clean it up and make it better…Mom.
To build a stronger family we can go directly to the source, to the glue that holds it all together and pick her up, lift her up, back her up. By doing this, not only will we bring joy to our wives, but we’ll show our kids what real love looks like, and I would argue there’s nothing more important than teaching them that.
So here’s to Father’s Day. A day I’ll be spending pouring myself into the one who makes me a better Father: my wife.
