You Will ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

¯\_(ツ)_/¯is so 2014. Here are the emoticons you’ll be overusing in 2015.

By Laura Olin

The word to sum up 2014 is not “culture,” as Merriam-Webster suggested, or “exposure” (Dictionary.com), or — good lord — “vape” (Oxford Dictionaries).

No, the word to sum up this steaming garbage heap of a year is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, which we turned to when processing each new terrible and/or horrific news story: an overwhelming sense that everything is terrible and can hardly get worse.

What will be the emoticons of 2015, a year that — by sheer dint of probability — must be a little bit better? Here are some possibilities:

ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ

A feeling of bright-eyed, forward-facing optimism with a duration of at least six to eight seconds.

(◡ ‿ ◡ ✿)

A peaceful resolve to turn away from the headlines, retire to a friendly field of wildflowers, festoon one’s hair and/or beard with some of them, and pretend the news has just stopped happening.

(•_•) ( •_•)>⌐■-■ (⌐■_■)

With the help of David Caruso and possibly some anxiety medication: dealing with it.

( ⧉ ⦣ ⧉ )

A cheerful personal preference for retina-destroying virtual reality.


A sloth-like refusal to process any new information until at least a day and many intervening naps have passed.


The suggestion that the news of the day just needs a little accordion music.

╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭

The same overwhelming sense of directionless desolation as ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. But cuter.

Laura Olin writes the Everything Changes newsletter.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.