Love, Money and Reality
I think my purpose on this earth is to provide a platform for people similar to me. People out there who have had the carpet yanked out from under them from too damn long.
My friends that were supposedly my friends are not there for me during my darkest period. My girlfriend just ended our relationship in the most painful fashion, I got dumped out of my boots. I am stuck with a job that I am unhappy with and underpaid and I feel like I have nowhere to go.
I know there’s lots of you out there that went through or are going through what I am going through right now. This is a harsh case of love, money and reality, and this is what is going on
Day 1: What is really going on?
You know, to be honest I am just very angry and heart broken right now. Yes, my girlfriend left me. Gina, I hate you so much right now and yet I love you deeply. The truth is that I believe that she is back together with her ex-boyfriend.
The signs were there and yet I just seemed to torture myself through it. You did not want to make love to me anymore, you kept on looking for the first mistake I made, and you stopped calling me, even when I was the one who bought you the airtime. I should have been smarter, but I was heels over head by my deep, strong feelings of love and passion for you.
You can only imagine what goes on in my head every night when I go to sleep all alone. The images of her “doing things” with another man just tears me apart. It squashes my appetite, makes my blood boil and also just gets me sick to my stomach!
Do you know what the worst part of this whole mess is? This is the woman who I was prepared to spend my whole life with. And now that she is gone, all I can picture is spending my life all alone and miserable! It brings me to tears. The stinging that takes place in the left area of my chest is beyond anything I can ever describe. It hurts! It’s sad and I hate it!
Wait! I am not even through yet son! So she just started a new job right, and rumors have it that she might have had an affair with her boss in order to get that job!! And it all stems back to the fact that because I did not have all the money and all the power that whoever or whatever else had, I did not warrant her right? Right?
Wrong! The anger inside me tells me that she is overrated and she is a big piece of trash. Her good friend Sarah came by to my office the other day with her boyfriend Lamar. Lamar is allegedly my friend, but after all this, I am really starting to doubt his allegiance to me as a buddy. Anyway, she confirmed my worst fear. She confirmed that Gina is indeed back together with her ex-boyfriend.
All the anger inside me just wants to get back at her and prove to her that she made a mistake in dumping me, especially because of the fact that I loved her wholeheartedly and she tore me apart like a piece of government crap!
She brought me down to tears in public, when I begged her not to leave me! God, I was so in love with that woman (Trust me, I did not want to use the word “woman”, but the word I had intended on putting there was just too gruesome for me to use). But she walked out on me. Leaving a million unanswered questions ringing in my head!
Deep inside I know that this book is relevant to a lot of you out there. You don’t know me yet! Because I have not introduced myself. You will get to know that as we move on.
I feel slightly better having vented out my anger and pain in the paragraphs above, so I am starting to calm down.
Here’s my problem though. I do not know my path. I am stuck in a job that I hate to my guts! I am paid peanuts, and I mean this literary, and I am honestly just unhappy with where I am in my life right now.
Everyone keeps on saying “you’re still young, you have time to figure things out” and “you are lucky that she left you when she did, imagine if you and her were married”, and “your time is coming, just keep your head up”. All this is just stupid crap that I do not want to hear. I need to know now! I want to know why I am STUCK in this position.
When I look around, seems to me like everybody is happy. They are driving fancy cars, living the lives of movie stars. Other people have already met their soulmates and have been together for years and are very happy. So where’s my breakthrough?
And then I figured it out. Right now I believe the key lies with a connection between three things.
Oh hell! hold on for a second, I have a little bit more anger to vent to out! How many people can we actually call our friends? How many people are truly your friends? When the times were all good, and you were the one spending your cash on them, they were always right there by your side. They came by your place and as long as you spent on them, all was well. When you are at your lowest point, they are not there for you. Even Lamar, my so called friend, Overweight and all, I never judged him. I always helped him out whenever he’d ask for a favor from me. And yet here I am, down and out and not even a phone call, a text or a visit. Nothing!
On the day of the break-up, I called him, tears rolling down my cheeks and a trembling voice from pain and hurt. All I did was ask him to spend time with me because I was not fine. And guess what? Do you think he spent any time with me? You already know the answer to that question. I spit on that kind of “friendship”.
So now, we are back to that period where the mind is processing so much. It is a mixture of confusion, desperation, anger, and revenge-mentality. But here is where the trick lies, you have got to channel that anger into doing what you love most and what you feel like doing most! Channel all that anger and pain and aggression and pure frustration, and just ball it up into what you love doing most. I guarantee you that the results will show.
Do not get off track, I said that the key lies with three things. You have got to understand these things, You have got to discover more about them and why they are so hard. And why it leads me to this point. Why my girlfriend truly left me, and why my so called friends are not here comforting me, and why my career path and my reason for being here on this earth were not clear!
I’ll tell you what they are.. they are MONEY, LOVE and REALITY! I will explain further on day 2!
A lot of these authors are liars. Judas Priests if I may. They want to indoctrinate us with false hope. In reality they cannot give us the answers that we seek and so they simply speak about their own successes in order not to tie themselves down into anything. I personally believe that they are just cowards, and they are just like my ex-girlfriend who left me. They are weak and look for the easiest way out!
How different are they from the desperate chick who slept with her boss in order to get a job. They are exactly the same. They cannot answer the questions that we seek and they simply see an opportunity in our pain. This opportunity is called MONEY.
People can say whatever they want, the truth is that money controls pretty much everything. I am witness to the fact that a dollar snatched my girlfriend away from me. Women are probably going to read this and say that I am bitter. Well congratulations ladies, because you are right. I am bitter and I have every right to be bitter.
But be objective when reading this, because I believe you have probably been in a similar situation. And that two-timing tramp ex-girlfriend of mine belongs in a whore-house! She became a slave to money. And those jackasses who I thought were my friends belong in the sewer. And if I never have to see them again, it will be too damn soon.
My bitterness will not lead me to failure but rather to success. Simply because I am learning more about myself and my character. I am learning more about the connection between money, love and reality. I am actually starting to discover how I deal with adversity. I channel my anger and pain into doing what I love and it works for me. If you haven’t figured it by now, I am giving you people advice.
Now, money controls everything period. You can sit there and try your hardest to think about something that is not controlled by money and you will begin to grow roots on your feet. And you know what really gets me sick to my stomach is that the people with tons of money always come out here and say “money isn’t everything”.
I know right? Like, how pathetic is that? You just jumped out of your brand new Mercedes Benz or Jaguar of Aston Martin Vanquish and all that stupid crap, and then you have got the nerve to come out here and preach to us during a motivational speech that money isn’t everything! To be honest, a lot of these authors are over-rated and they are big pieces of trash. They care not about their readers but only about their back pockets. Well I care! Because you are out there having felt deserted and alone, just like I feel.
Here is the harsh reality. I am doing me right now. And I suggest you do you as well. You have got to start doing what you love and make money out of it. Nobody can tell you what is best for you because all they do is speak a lot of crap. They go out and start flapping their gums about their successes and where they are, not even giving a damn about the heart broken person who is genuinely in need of a shoulder and a path of what to do now. No! It really gets me sick to my stomach, and if you do not mind I am off to the bathroom right now to go and Vomit all the fluids in my body due to the fact that there is nothing else in my body. This is what I call love!
I have been unable to eat and I feel so drained. But you do not understand! You may think that this is the end of me? Let me get back from the bathroom. We will discuss a little more on the subjects.
You know it just seems like when something is wrong, or something is going wrong, the whole bad luck train just seems to be passing through your tunnel? That’s how things are for me right now. For the third straight day I have woken up and there’s a horrible feeling in my gut. I just want this whole thing to end.
Powerful forces seem to judge that this is the period for bad luck. Here is what I believe. Just like the world and the earth rotates, so does luck. Everyone will have their share of luck but it has to go around. Just like the spinning of the earth. It is one of those things where I feel positive and strong one minute and then it just seems like some form of reality settles in and then I get all doom and gloom all day.
But you are the creator of your luck. One thing I learned about reality is that there are some things that you have control over and there are some things that you do not have control over. I honestly cannot tell you what to do. But I know you seek the answers that I seek. The key to this tough monster called reality is very simple, yet very difficult. This is the best advice I am going to give you… You have to face Reality!
I have seen the things that I feel are wrong in my life. I am already working on improving them. The useless job, that petty salary that even a three year old would scoff at, those so called friends that were just gutless and spineless and did not have the decency to put their selfish ways aside. That girlfriend who walked out on me like yesterdays fried liver.
I am telling you this. Reality is a tough competitor folks, but if you plan things out you give yourself a stronger chance of fighting a lengthy battle with it. You have to take reality all the way. If we are talking about NBA basketball playoffs, you are going to have to take reality to a seven game series. We talking wrestling, Reality is the undertaker, you are going to have to be Stone Cold Steve Austin because he is one tough son of a gun.
Love! Love! Love! This is one area that really hurts. You see in reality, the feeling of love seems to come from your heart. But do you know that in actual fact, love is in the brain. Oh don’t be shocked. Call me a liar if you want but I swear to you, love is in the brain.
Here’s how, You grow fond of somebody right? You create memories with them right? Those memories become videos and images that are stored in your mind. When your mind is in a calm state because of sweet memories, your heart beats very calmly. This is then defined as love. Now, if your partner cheats on you, again, those images or those words or whatever it might be, are stored in the mind or the brain. This causes you to think so much and it puts a strain on your heart. The strain causes your heart to beat faster, you become hot in temperature and you just feel a boiling, stinging feeling in the heart area.
This my dear friends is the harsh reality of love. You know what, I just want you to know that there are people out there who are going through what you are going through. I am one of them. All I want you to do is trust yourself. The strength that you possess as a human being is beyond your own wildest dream. Do not take the cowardice way out by giving up or always looking for the short cut. There will be no reward, nor will there be personal satisfaction.
Love and money are related people. And this is just the reality of things.
My name is Lucky Phiri, and on day 5 I will pick myself up after the knockout punch that this life just handed me! I suggest you do the same my dearest friend.