5 Grief Blunders This Widow Would Like You To Avoid

But I Will Never Be An Expert

Danell teNyenhuis Black
Widowed Words


Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“I can’t imagine what you are going through.”

“This sucks.”

Words of comfort—I know I have mentioned that they don’t exist. I know this, but I still struggle to convey comfort when someone is experiencing a loss. For some reason, I feel I should be an expert, but I’m not.

Patrick died just over eight years ago, on 4/20/2016. I didn’t feel like writing about the anniversary this year, so I waited a week. Every year, I see many posts and comments celebrating 4/20. For those of you who don’t know, 420 has become a code word for Marijuana. I tried finding more information, and I found this article on Yahoo and this entry on Wikipedia, among other references.

Over the last eight years, I have been annoyed by this connection since it’s not a day of celebration for me. This year, I finally realized Patrick would think this is hilarious. He didn’t smoMarijuanaana or do any other drugs, but he embraced being different and unique.

I also think he would want an annoying celebration to distract us from the reason we remember 4/20.

This year, I wanted to provide some tips on grief blunders that I frequently see. Death…