Parable of the Golden Handcuffs
“What is your dream job?” said someone.
Someone more fabulous responds, “Darling, I have no dream job. I do not dream of labor.” — as seen and heard on TikTok (and Instagram).
In recent years I’ve developed a knack for finances. I like learning about finances and investing. I am majorly fascinated by the false theory that “teachers are broke.” Not true! Of course, teachers could stand to be paid much more, however, I know teachers whose passports are filled with stamps, own gorgeous homes, drive luxury vehicles, and wear red bottoms to school. Now, I know (and you know) that having stuff doesn’t indicate wealth, however, everyone has a right to earn a living and spend their money as they choose, even if that is choosing to spend money on their classrooms and students. According to David Ramsey, teachers and the profession of teaching is one of the top 5 careers that produce everyday millionaires. (I have an unfleshed-out theory on why that is, I’ll save it for another time).
Here’s the deal. A mentor of mine would often ask me, “What is your dream job?” I never could come up with an answer. I wasn’t playing coy, I just genuinely didn’t have an answer. At the time I enjoyed my job, loved the students, adored my colleagues, and felt as though I was making an impact — plenty dreamy. However, I struggled to answer the question because the additional question that begged to be asked was “What are your dreams?”
During the “dream job” wondering, I kept thinking about balance. What would a dream work-life balance look like for me? As I began wondering, I was simultaneously getting irritated about the fact that I was earning six figures in New York City and was working 1 day. I was frustrated by my increasing rent and my landlord’s unfair pricing tactics. I started feeling like I couldn’t out-earn the living expenses while justifying the hours spent working, and working and working.
A quick caveat, now, I will say that I love New York City as much as I love teaching but for me, teaching/coaching and living in New York City were toxic.
The final straw. My landlord was threatening to raise my rent by $200 or maybe it was $300 per month. I realized that I wasn’t willing to work and work and work just to live in 400 square feet, with one closet, no washer dryer, no grass, and nothing wonderful, except for very pretty hardwood floors. That’s when the learner grabbed a hold of me. I needed to learn how to manage my finances like a boss. I needed to stop pretending that money was this icky thing that I shouldn’t talk about or learn about.
Now, I believe that God and the Universe provide us with what we need. I also know that it is my job to make what I have work for me and to go after my dreams and goals intentionally, creatively, and fearlessly. I soon realized what wasn’t my dream job. More specifically, my dream job wasn’t working 12 hours a day three or more times a week. My dream job would provide the ability for me to afford a balanced lifestyle.
Sidebar… I am sharing this tale of feeling trapped with what appeared to be a good salary, a nice job title, and impactful. What I’m trying to say loud and clear is that your girl needed a reset. I’ll say it… I didn’t want more money if more money meant less balance, more responsibility, and nonexistent self-care.
So, I read finance books, listened to podcasts, crunched some numbers, and made plans. When my lease was up, I moved to D.C. I took a teaching position with a smaller salary and worked flexibly as a part-time educational coach and professor in hopes to achieve some balance. I got an apartment with a friend, the apartment had goo gobs of non-obtainable NYC amenities (untenable on my NYC salary). One year after moving to D.C. I had saved well over 20K and researched how to buy a condo using one of the homebuying programs for educators and government employees. I never again wanted to be in a position where I had to choose between working to the bone to have a place to live. Two years after moving to D.C. I had paid off my two-year-old car because I realized that it was my biggest monthly expense. I didn’t want a monthly expense (car note or any other bill) to stop me from finding peace and work-life balance; because debt is dumb.
Being a teacher is hard enough. I love what I do, but it’s not always dreamy (especially during these pandemic times). I may not be a finance major but I’m able to learn. I am a changemaker and I will protect my happiness and joy as my life depends on it, because it does.
Here are some of my favorite books that helped me to break free from golden handcuffs: “David Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover”, “Rich Dad, Poor Dad”, “The Richest Man in Babylon”, “ Chris Hogan’s Retire Inspired”, and “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.”
Sowing keys to the cuffs,
Melissa (the aspiring lady of leisure, IYKYK)
If you liked this blog post, check out “Mindful Back to School Shopping” and “The Essentials” my favorite classroom gadgets under $20.
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