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“Sexy” Is a Lie

I’m tired of playing this game

Y.L. Wolfe
Wilder

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Copyright Yael Wolfe

Look at this photograph. Yes, this is me. This photo is unfiltered, though I did adjust the color a tad. Other than that, it is the real me.

And yet…it is not. This is not real.

It’s just a pose. Just a cute outfit. Just an energy I’m trying to project.

Is it sexy? Yes. But only because I did what our culture tells me to do in order to look sexy. I moved my body the way it defines as sexy. I wore clothes that it defines as sexy. I followed the rules.

But is this me? Does anyone actually think I walk around looking this way all day long? Or more importantly, feeling this way? Because I most assuredly do not.

Right now, I’m wearing gray cotton socks, jeans that are too big for me, and a tired peasant shirt with a rip in the armpit that I’ve owned for over ten years. My hair is in a messy bun, as usual, and I’m not wearing makeup or jewelry. I’d be a little embarrassed to be seen by a neighbor right now. Only my close friends and family members get to see this side of me. This side of me, by the way, that is probably the most illustrative of who I am really am.

You see, I don’t really care that much about how I look. Just like most women, I wish I was prettier, younger, skinnier, and all the things, just as our…

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