An orgasm of abundance in the face of a scarcity narrative
Why wild women are demonized in a patriarchal society
Only when I learned how to reveal my sexuality in its fullest expression to myself that I understood that I could, at the same time, make my body vibrate, make my mind expand, make my heart and soul run together. Only at this moment, I could experience the feeling of becoming a whole with the universe.
The flow state, for me today, it is a feeling like I am having the most amazing sex experience with every molecule of the universe in each and every breath, every blink, every step, every silence at the same time.
But no, it doesn’t happen all the time, at least not for me, and it is ok, I love cycles.
This flow state, for me, is a state that every time that I tap into, I feel a deep feeling of gratitude, peace, groundedness and I feel centered. And it is always connected with my sexual energy.
But to allow myself to learn to explore my own sexuality in a patriarchal society was and is not easy.
To learn how to express my own sexuality in its full expression took me time, and I am still learning about it and from it.
It took me time because I felt ashamed.
It took me time because I felt afraid.
It took me time because I felt in danger.
It took me time because I felt outside of the norm.
It took me time because I didn’t know who I could talk about it without being judged.
It took me time because I didn’t learn to empathize with myself.
It took me time because I didn’t know how to identify and vocalize my feelings and sensations.
It took me time because I didn’t learn to develop patience with myself.
It took me time because I learned that in order to be normal, my sexuality needed to be performed and explored with and by another person, I mean, a man.
It took me time because I learned that if I expressed too much my desires, I would be judged.
It took me time because I learned to use sex to compensate for my anxiety.
It took me time because I learned to use sex to feel accepted.
It took me time because I didn’t learn to use sex for my own pleasure.
It took me time because I didn’t learn to use sex to tap into my creative energy.
It took me time because I didn’t learn to experience sex as a transcendental experience.
It took me time because I felt trapped in a space where I wanted to learn how to be free.
When my world turned upside down, I finally allowed myself to shout to the world, fuck you crazy society! Fuck your fucked up rules! Fuck your social injustice! Fuck your binary-cis-hetero-monogamous-normative rules! Fuck your genocides! Fuck your feminicides! Fuck your ecocides! Fuck you crazy society! This daily violence it’s not normal… I am tired of this life that “normalizes” these atrocities… fuck this violence!
The day I learned to say “fuck you crazy society!”, I started to walk the path to start to learn how to love myself.
I finally allowed myself to learn who I was and didn’t dare to be.
From that day on, I learned to investigate what I wanted to do with my life and my body.
From that day on, I learned to explore where I wanted to go and with who I wanted to share my time with.
From that day on, I learned to better listen to my own cycles, and take better care of myself as a whole.
From that day on, I started to active listen to my own body.
The day I learned to say “fuck you crazy society!”, I started to give myself time to reconnect with my own pleasure.
Deep pleasure is so different from instant gratification.
For me, deep pleasure is a river of deep waters where I reconnect with myself without being afraid of it.
And only in the past few years that I learned, that I don’t need anyone besides myself to take me there.
But of course, to find a company that I trust and feel safe to swim in this river with me and to join me on this adventure, it is always fun.
With time, I understood that to be wild meant to learn from my cycles and from my own nature.
And I wanted to become wilder.
With time, I understood that when I allowed myself to follow my wild rhythm, I felt happier.
With time, I realized that when I became wilder, I needed less.
With time, I understood that when I became wilder,
I felt less afraid,
I allowed myself to say no,
I became better in identifying toxic relationships,
It became easier to set healthy boundaries,
I became better in creating a true community,
I became better in speaking from my heart.
When I allowed myself to live my own sexuality in my fullest expression, I discovered my authentic self.
And I think this is why the women who expressed their full sexuality in their various ways are demonized in a patriarchal and capitalist society, because when I learned to speak with my whole body (including my sexuality),
I learned to say No,
I learned to need less,
I learned to live within the seasons and the cycles (inside and outside myself).
I learned to say Yes for things that made me truly happy and I couldn’t buy in any store.
A wild woman is demonized because she does not feed abusive power dynamics.
A wild woman is demonized because she does not feed patriarchy and capitalism.
A wild woman is demonized because she managed to free herself to be happy.
A wild woman is demonized because she allows other women to set themselves free to be happy.
A wild woman is demonized because she is inclusive and she knows that a resilient community is the one where everybody can speak from their heart, shine their own diversity, designing for the climax of their (internal and external) environment.
A wild woman is demonized, named as a promiscuous woman because she is not afraid to express herself aligned with her sexual and creative energy flow. She is not promiscuous, she lives following her own nature rules.
A wild woman is demonized because she dares to have an orgasm of abundance in the face of a scarcity narrative, showing that abundance can be tapped with so little.