Wild Women Writers
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Wild Women Writers

Do you talk?

I was writing a massively sad and apocalyptic piece, when I went for a coffee, had a moment to think about it, and decided to try again.

So, do you talk? I mean, do you speak about your emotions and spiritual experiences, and dive in insight and outsight of our shared reality? Do you transcend the patterns of the Age of Isolation and trust in the goodness of others?

I noticed I’ve become rather cynical about trust and love. Experiences in life led me to believe I was trusting an idea of humanity that wasn’t real. But the truth is, I relied heavily on the opinion of those who do not understand this reality. Let me explain…

I trusted love from those who don’t know love. I trusted trust in those who don’t know trust. I trusted faith in those who are hopeless. I trusted community in those who thrive on exclusivity instead of inclusivity. I relied heavily on the notion that I could save the world, by my single self, one person at a time, and I lost a lot of battles in the meanwhile, to reach the idea that a losing battle is a lost war. Issue is, when I became cynical I lost my sense of trust in a world in which Good is sovereign and I saw a world of horror realities and tunnel like visions of those who are not the representatives of humanity, even though they would like to be. I saw a world in which the powerful are those who are ever more unworthy to be in power. The reality I’m facing now is the complete opposite, and my issue is to accept my cynicism and heal myself from the wounds of those battles.

The thing is, those who are at war need enemies to fight against. Those who need enemies will find them or create them. And that has been my reality for the past 30 years, until now, when I chose to forgo an already won war.

In a very prophetic tone I proclaim that the lack of natural values of humanity will not outlast the planet, will not outlast reality, even if humanity thinks itself sovereign at the moment and has chosen to not heed the warning this pandemic is putting in evidence: the cheer impermanence of humanity.

The planet has tried to kill off humans a lot of times, all of them successful. Who says this one will not be the same? This war humanity is raging against the planet, is in fact the already lost war. Even if humanity does not accept it’s insignificance in the grand cosmos of this shared reality, it simply does not matter in the grand scheme of things.

Those who are at war with the larger forces than themselves, will realize as I’ve realized, that in order to win an imaginary war, they will find imaginary enemies.

The planet asks for communion on common sense and shared values, and humanity replies en masse in egotism and self-titled statuses of sovereignty. Well, the planet will be their imaginary enemy, when it is not an enemy. Goodness is not an enemy.

The issue is simple, actually… the onanism humanity is facing has a real cunnundrum to it: the only truths humanity will find will only be true to themselves, in the human perspective. The enormous shared reality by every living force, entity, being in this Universe is an impossibility to be understood by a humanity which relies on exclusion instead of inclusion. As long as humanity self-proclaims itself the sovereign being of this reality, instead of accepting it’s ignorance and insignificance, it will continuously tell itself that their intelligence is superior, in a delusion of grandeur which implies solely, and very uniquely, a desire to be loved. All of which humanity does not understand, is hidden behind veils upon veils of different perspectives, until one realizes there is no hidden truth to humanity, besides this very realistic and three dimensional reality, which humanity is so adamant to destroy. The more humanity tries to reach an understanding outside it’s scope of self-transcendence, the more truth will shape and change according to the needs of the common good. Everything is impermanent, the only constant is change.

So, why fight? That’s my question to myself. Because I feel there is a higher purpose to human life than self-destruction. Because I still believe in common good and in common sense, and that these human characteristics will prevail in the end.

So, this brings me back to my initial question. Do you talk? Do you feel confident and trusting enough in someone to speak your highest truth of feeling small and rather isolated in a world that gets to decide who you are in all of this, through the means of giving you a Social Security number and Facebook algorythms? Do you feel you’re superior than me at this moment while you’re reading this and are you giving yourself enough excuses to justify that feeling, despite not really knowing me, what I represent, what I’m doing on this planet and how I spend my days?

So, do you talk? Do you tell others about your feelings of unworthiness and how you claim enemies where you found a respectful friend and how that tortures you inside? Do you tell others you secretly chose evil so that you can win a war facing all those forces you think you can win? Do you believe yourself to be superior than your cat? Do you speak about those moments where your cat has chosen to let you understand you’re equals under the sun?

Do you talk about the war your raging against the better parts of you, the more beautiful yet tortured parts of you which others have tried so adamantly to destroy? Do you tell the truth to those who’ve hurt you, or do you hide behind fear? Do you hide behind a veil of your sense of normality while you battle your shared part of this war? Do you silence your fears, do you understand where they come from? Do you talk about how you feel utterly dependent on others, while you proclaim independence? Do you speak about your vulnerabilities? Do you speak about your shame? Do you speak about the realness of love?

Or do you hide in the silence of the oppressed?

I read a most beautiful piece of writing the other day, it was from a native of a population in the amazon and it said: “We natives are the holders of humanity, we protect humanity from the demonic forces of this world. When we die, the rest of humanity will face the horrors which is been hiding against”. Well, that tells it all. If you’re searching for hidden meaning behind a very literal piece of writing, you do not understand the place you live in the slightest. If you think you do, you’re off for a lousy start.

So, my “prophecy” is here well explained. Humanity is under it’s own threat of a very weirdly put… parasuicide. It has chosen to say “everything is alright” instead of the truth. It has chosen to exclude rather than include. And those who have not chosen this, are excluded from something anyhow, more of the same, the same old venue of sovereignty.

It’s been a fight for power, power of the elites, power of the people, power of self-titled gurus, power of those who think they know best, and power of those who spent a tiny amount of time knowing a facet of someone and now they are realizing they’ve never really known the truth afterall.

The day I awakened to this reality I was a child. I realized no one will ever understand anything as long as they think they know something, because it will immediately change, as the perspective changes, as reality metamorphes.

The planet isn’t really a sphere, is more of a potato, or maybe that’s how the human eye sees it. Who knows? Probably my cat knows best.

Cheers, stay safe, talk about your feelings.

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