The fog, the scorpion and the eagle.

My end of the year short monologue.

Somewhere in the midst of the morning fog in my little town, sometimes echoes some beautiful tunes in the air.

I live right next to the river, in a very small village in Southern Portugal with about 50 inhabitants. It’s so small it only has a bakery and a coffee shop, that serves as a grocery shop, a mailorder delivery from weirded out delivery trucks that don’t know their way driving along 7 horizontal streets, and the smallest park I’ve ever seen next to a miniscule chappel right in the middle. Everything happens like it always does, people tend for chickens early in the morning, wash and hang dry their clothes at about 10am and spend the rest of the day talking or watching TV. On thursdays a groceries van passes by and delivers some stuff, and the mailman always arrives on time.

I didn’t think I’d move to such a place. I’ve lived in small communities before, but I was young and dumb and pumped on beer. Now I’m an adult, full fledged one too, and I have a steady job, difficult responsibilities and a world opened up to my travelling and enjoyment. It’s quite the life, considering the place I was at 10 years ago.

It’s been quite difficult to endure the early loneliness. I moved out here alone, with my pets and a suitcase completely fed up with the city and the noise and the rudeness of it all.

So now, I lead a kind, simple and normal life. And it’s amazing.

When the pandemic started, my life didn’t change much. The only difference is the volume in people at the supermarket in the city nearby, the masks and all the disinfecting that is taking place.

So I began some hobbies. I restarted my writing, I started a few projects, I’m taking some courses, and I started collecting weird and out-of-the-box musical instruments and searching for unique pieces of furniture. The more I search for these, the more ads for weirder instruments appear on my Facebook feed, I’ve began a journey of searching for weird instruments on weird websites. Actually, this thing kind of became out of porportion when I found an antique telephone table with a seat for 50€ when it costs about triple or quadruple of that regularly, because they aren’t made anymore. I had to drive all the way to Lisbon, in some weird neighborhood in a weird far away suburb to get it, but it was well worth it.

Cool, right?

So a pretty neat instrument I found on one of those artisan’s Facebook pages, those who build Shamanic Drums and sell their own meditation cushions. It’s called a Chinese Temple Box and it’s quite interesting to play with, because it feels like I’m 3 years old just pouncing with a stick on a wood board.

Looks like this:

It’s quite fun. But my favorite one has to be the kalimba. It’s such a beautiful sound! I love to play it in the morning, just to give a good vibe to the day. We need good vibe days. I started seeing ads for it on Instagram, back when I still bothered to have an Instagram account, and one day I just went “Ok, this is the day” and I’ve been glued to it. I’m learning classical music on it and it’s pretty awesome.

Another weird instrument is the circular hand xilophone. It’s amazing when I put a pingpong ball in it, and just swirl it around. Makes the most amazing sound effects.

So yeah, now I’m someone who collects weird instruments in a town that is hard to find.

The other day I was going to the bathroom and passed by two of my pets extremelly interested in something in the corner. Closer look, ita very scared scorpion. I tried to move it outside, opened the door and expected him or her to just follow suit, but they decided to spend the night beneath the shelfs in the kitchen. Long story short, a coffee pot fell on it. There was a big permaculture lesson in this somewhere, I swear. The scorpion as a totem animal means rebirth after death… I hope I’m not dying just yet! But it’s quite interesting to note the metaphorical past self that stayed wherever the state I was stayed at, and the new me coming forth… calmer, wiser, and kinder.

Then there was this rat infestation, but I guess the village’s cats took care of that one. We had a resident cat for a week and it was quite amazing how quickly that one was solved. The rat means new beginnings, to declutter and make way for the new.

The cat symbolizes courage for the unknown.

And right at the end of the summer, maybe last day or so, I was just sitting outside and heard this noise above the house that I never heard so upclose before. Looked up, there was this huge eagle just flying above my house in circles. Maybe the rats, I don’t know. So I took it as a sign, I like taking spiritual animals signs out there, you know? So I’ve been waiting for what the eagle means, and I went to this fair in the neighboring city. This couple selling old collectibles had this beautiful and ingenious piece of artwork to sell: a wood eagle that flaps it’s wings when you push a piece of wiring. It’s quite beautiful. I also got some old toys from them, some stuff you only see in rural Portugal made by artisans.

I searched for the meaning of the Eagle, and came across the following paragraph in some website Google suggested:

The Eagle is a true predator. Predators help keep the balance of nature healthy. They capture the weak and the sick, which helps to prevent the spread of disease. Throughout time cultures have considered this a healing role of the Eagle. Those working with Eagle spirit animals are often healers. If you are not a healer and the Eagle spirit animal is coming into your experience, you may soon be awakened to a powerful self-healing or the emergence of your healing powers.

And the past few years, I’ve been basically studying every kind of alternative healing method there is. I have a portfolio now of about 30 methods. I know, it’s absolutely insane, but I tell you, the healing benefits are incredible. A favorite is herbalism of course, I’ve been concocting herbal medicines for people around me for quite sometime but now it’s amazing. I made a healing balm for my mom’s ostheoarthritis and I’m known for my miracle syrup for throatache, it’s quite incredible what one can do with healing. So I developed my own methodologies for healing, and I’ve been favoring self-healing for the moment. It’s amazing what resilience, knowledge and the right supports can do.

So the Eagle, the Scorpion and even the rats, are somewhat of a message I’m on the right path. Somehow in the midst of this, good news came across that things are getting better by the minute for everyone. Even with a pandemic and the weirdest US election I’ve ever witnessed that actually had a good result. I’m quite happy for Americans right now, and the world is well served with more women in offices too. So it’s been interesting to note this year, and I’m giving a perspective which may not be common with most, but usually, illness indicates that toxins need to come out.

This pandemic is like a purge of humanity’s toxicity… we’ve seen a lot of bad, but a lot of good too. I’ve never seen humanity so united and so much community and willness to do good. It’s quite amazing and my heart is heavy with gratitude to be here witnessing this period. I’m excited at how we all can solve the current issues if we band together, even if miles apart. And how a meeting would be, if we allow our hearts of weirdness and differences and diversity to come together for the best of reasons.

I’m leaning towards being more forgiving lately. Not of those who did harm or nothing to stop harm being done, but to those who unwillingly helped so much even at a distance. Forgive the absence and forgive when there is true love. I think, and I may be right, that the path of healing is a path of self-forgiveness and self-esteem.

Not mine, but worth a listen:

Stay safe, stay healthy and like Lisa Hannigan says: safe travels, don’t die.