Be a Good Date: Don’t Skimp on the Primp

Four Principles that apply to dating, networking, and negotiations: Part 1 of 4

Featured Columnist: Lauren Perkins

Networking and negotiations are two of the most intimidating social interactions that professionals face. Next to the trials (and occasional horrors) of dating, however, these tribulations are a piece of cake. As experienced “single ladies” with plenty of turns on the dating wheel know, with the right mindset and skill networking and negotiation opportunities are just that — opportunities to communicate, connect with others, practice a skill, learn something, and even come out on top.

These events can certainly seem intimidating if you don’t have an action plan to keep you focused and on task. To make the most of networking events and negotiation rounds, businesswomen can treat each event as they would treat a date. Following the same rules that you would typically follow on a date provides some guidance for how to be an excellent negotiator and networker as well. Proper preparation, focus, and follow-up plans can help you to take advantage of any professional or romantic prospect.

The first step toward an engaging experience is preparation. When you go on a date, there are certain rituals you do to get ready to feel confident and empowered. These same rules apply to preparing for a networking event and negotiations to be the best-prepared “date” you can be:

Prepping to network:

• Research the event host and the demographics of the attendees. If there’s someone going to the event you want to be introduced to, ask a mutual contact for an introduction ahead of time. LinkedIn is a great resource to discover mutual contacts.
• Speaking of LinkedIn, have your profile up-to-date and looking sharp so that you can refer your new contacts to relevant (and enticing) information after the event.
• Have a stack of business cards ready to go.
• Prepare your elevator pitch and main talking points, then practice a few times!

Prepping to negotiate:

• Research the company, team, and negotiation partner to get a sense of their needs, culture, communication style, and values. Just like in dating, there’s a lot you can pick up on from unspoken communications and body language — do you negotiation partners seem uptight or distrustful? Does their body language seem relaxed and easy, or tense and uncomfortable? What else can you discern from previous conversations?
• Prep the pitch — practice articulating what you are asking/offering to your negotiation partner and what you are looking for in return.
• Know your limits — identify in advance what you are willing to concede on and what’s on the table.

Just like in dating, adequate preparation can help boost your confidence and ability during the actual interaction. You may event want to try some power poses, or visualization exercises to “see” yourself confidently making conversation and countering proposals.

Networking events are a fantastic way to meet new business prospects, potential partners, and leverage relationships within your existing network for referrals. And while negotiations may not be everyone’s cup of tea, they are excellent opportunities to articulate what you want, quantify your skills and the value you bring to the table, and find common ground and mutual benefits for both parties.

With the right attitude and mindset, you can rock any social mixer, salary negotiation, or networking night. Over the next few weeks we will share additional tips on how to up your game across all of these playing fields.

Lauren Perkins is a Brand Marketer, Community Builder, and Author of The Community Manager’s Playbook: How to Build Brand Awareness and Customer Engagement (Apress, 2015). As the founder & CEO of Perks Consulting, Lauren has spent a decade teaching growth stage companies to “Think like Brand. Act like a Startup.™” through her expertise in leading brand marketing and digital innovation. With a genuine love for helping and teaching people, she is an Entrepreneur in Residence at Columbia Business School and a founding instructor at General Assembly teaching digital insights, brand strategy, community management and agile marketing.