If you’re batting a thousand, prepare for the knockdown pitch

Playing the Player

Home Spun Tales

Source image by Freepik

Todd was the player’s player. You could ask any of the players who followed him on Instagram for updates with a candid pic of the girl he’d nailed the night before. Blonde, brunette, black, Asian, jail bait and MILF, anorexic and busting out of their bras, jocks, stoners and even waitresses he picked up at all-night diners.

Everyone told him (everyone being the minor league players who followed him) he needed to write his own version of How to Pick Up Girls, and he promised to “tip my dick in the water” by writing a blog. His first installment got seven thousand likes from players and Incels all over the world. The perfect intro post too, titled “All My Dates Put Out at the End of Our Evening.”

Todd’s first blog post got seven thousand likes from players and Incels all over the world. The perfect intro post too, titled “All My Dates Put Out at the End of Our Evening.”

He followed with “How to Turn a Cheap Date Into an Easy Lay,” and “Never Pay for Sex Again.” His Blog, From Boob to Babe Magnet in Thirty Lays scored thirty thousand followers by the end of his first week (a feat which raised Sue’s eyebrow when he airdropped the link after he bought her a drink when they met at his hotel bar).

And, just as he expected, Sue put out at the end of the evening too. A stellar performance on his part, he was forced to admit. A threepeat marathon. He would have paid her a thousand dollars for a night like that which, he learned later, he paid that thousand and more when her charges appeared on his credit card after she lifted the number from his wallet.

See Me Saturday

I’ll be doing two virtual readings for the Flint Horror Collective’s April Ghouls’ Day Con. Eight hours online and then everything disappears. See you there.

Find my books

Two of my stories featured in Hell’s Mall: Sinister Shops, Cursed Objects and Maddening Crowds (Hell’s Series)

Cigerets, Guns & Beer

Wry noir author Phillip T. Stephens wrote Cigerets, Guns & Beer, Raising Hell, the Indie Book Award winning Seeing Jesus, and the children’s book parody Furious George. Follow him at Phillip T Stephens.