Wind Eggs
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Wind Eggs

This is an email from In the Wind, a newsletter by Wind Eggs.

Stay Tuned: Old Jokes Week

Check in Monday for Old Jokes Week, in which I recast some of my favorite jokes from my youth. Ironically, they’re also among the few that stood the time of memory, which means either they’re really good, or I told them so often they’re among the longest and thickest neurons in my brain.

As a sneak preview, I’m providing the premises of the stories to come. Many of you may know the jokes already, so stayed tuned to see how I reworked them.

Monday

Bob the Bible salesman wants to marry the farmer’s daughter, but she’s no virgin and won’t marry a man with no sex experience. So the farmer recommends he practice on a knothole.[1]

Tuesday

A wealthy man with little experience in the bedroom suspects his wife isn’t a virgin, so his father suggests the penis/prick test.[2]

Wednesday

Earnest responds to a class lesson on stealth weapons by drawing a period on the board.[3]

Thursday

A new teacher with a strong evangelical background suspects her students don’t know enough about Jesus. So she conducts an oral quiz to see how many know what Easter is.[4]

Friday

Jesus’ mother interferes with his handling of the women taken in the act of adultery.

Constructing the Montage

By now you readers recognize my featured images are montages with effects implied to crate a comic book half-tone look. As an example, I thought I’d show the images used to created the featured image on Monday’s post.

This meadow provided an inspiring background.
This image was simply inspiring. (See footnote [2])
The final touch to create the visual joke and story tease.

These images were from Freepik.com, to which I subscribe so I don’t have to credit every image I use. It’s well worth the price. I also use Pixabay, Vecteezy, Pexels and public domain, Creative Commons images (with accreditation.

[1]: The original version of this joke was not only sexist but racist, at least by today’s standards, involving Native Americans and bride prices. Out of respect for those who can’t separate historical perspective from modern cultural sensitivity, I made significant changes. Somewhere, I’m sure, someone’s preparing the culturally acceptable version of Huck Finn, which will be a third the original length.

[2]: This joke was, and is, simply sexist, for reasons I won’t explain. I rendered it as culturally appropriate as I could.

[3]: See note [2].

[4]: This joke, and Friday’s as well, are simply sacrilegious, and therefore perfectly acceptable to culturally appropriate norms. However, they sure offended the members of my Baptist church.

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