If you find your name listed in the recipe, think twice before eating
Stocking the Ingredients
Sue stood at the kitchen counter whipping the omelet in her ceramic bowl. Her own recipe, which she came up with on the spur of the moment that morning, and it was the perfect morning to whip it up. For her birthday, her thirtieth birthday. To celebrate she’d gone for drinks with her best friend Barb the night before and afterwards for a run in the park.
She’d have preferred to run with her husband Bob, but he wouldn’t return from his business trip until later this morning, and there were so many friendly people in the park it was like her own surprise party. Fortunately, even at that moment, Bob was on the way from the airport which meant he would be home in time to finish the omelet.
She diced the potatoes into a cast-iron skillet and fried them until they were crisp enough to break and while the hot butter popped she chopped half a block of cream cheese into quarter inch cubes which she added to the whipped eggs with jack cheese, mushrooms, bacon, scallions and…
That’s right. She was waiting on the last ingredient.
Sue would have preferred to run with her husband Bob, but he wouldn’t return from his business trip until later this morning, and there were so many friendly people in the park it was like her own surprise party.
With perfect timing, the garage door opened and Bob strolled into the kitchen in his work suit, dragging his suit bag over his shoulder. He kissed her on the neck. “I don’t have to report to the office until one, so we have plenty of time for breakfast and a snuggle.” He nuzzled her cheek. “Happy birthday.”
Bob poured a cup of coffee and sat at the table while Sue popped the bagels into the toaster and grabbed the meat hammer from the drawer. He scanned the recipe while sipping his brew. “Honey? Why is ‘Bob’s brains’ on the ingredients list?”
She moved behind him, clutching the meat hammer in her fist, and leaned in to whisper. “I met the nicest man in the park last night. He walked really slow and wasn’t much of a conversationalist, but you won’t believe what happened next.”
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Wry noir author Phillip T. Stephens wrote Cigerets, Guns & Beer, Raising Hell, the Indie Book Award winning Seeing Jesus, and the children’s book parody Furious George. Follow him at Phillip T Stephens.
