If you can’t trust your children’s explanations, stop drinking and pay more attention
The Chatty Kathy Guide to Hairstyles
Horror Week
SHARON LIFTED MOLLY ONTO HER LAP and stroked her fine blonde hair. “I promise, sweetie, dolls can’t be possessed by devils.”
Molly held her Baby Kathy doll in Sharon’s face. “But, Mommy, look what Kathy did to her hair.” The doll’s hair was shorn on the left and chopped in several different lengths on the right.
Sharon took Kathy from Molly and placed her on the couch beside them. “I don’t know how Kathy cut her hair, Molly. Doll fingers can’t work scissors. Is it possible she had help?” She cradled Molly’s cheeks with her palms. “Perhaps a little girl of five who learned the other day where Mommy keeps her sewing scissors?”
The doll’s hair was shorn on the left and chopped in several different lengths on the right.
Molly’s eyes were round and blue like China saucers. “But, Mommy, the only little girl of five who knows where your scissors are is me.”
“Well, why don’t you leave Kathy with me when you visit your father this weekend, and I’ll keep an eye on her.”
Molly kissed her cheek. “Thank you, mommy. I know Kathy will be safe with you.”
Sharon tucked the Kathy doll into the back of the closet, mixed a Xanax cocktail and drifted to sleep while binge watching Bridgerton.
Friday night, after Molly’s father drove away in his new SUV with Molly in the back and his new trophy wife in the passenger seat, Sharon tucked the Kathy doll into the back of the closet, mixed a Xanax cocktail and drifted to sleep while binge watching Bridgerton.
She woke in the middle of the night. Molly’s Kathy doll sat next to her with her sewing scissors in her tiny plastic hand, and Sharon’s chopped hair covered her pillow.
She pulled the pillow over her head and went back to sleep. Next time she’d double up on Xanax and skip the triple Scotch.
Chock-full-o-laughs
Reviews:*
Steven King: Think Dante meets the Road Runner.
Terry Pratchett: I could never make torture this funny.
Douglas Addams: The one book I’m keeping in the afterlife.
*Not to be confused with popular authors of the same names.
