Drive & Motivation Through Setbacks and Successes — Michael Kostroff
I first met Michael Kostroff about eleven years ago while performing the Mel Brooks comedy THE PRODUCERS at the Gateway Playhouse in Long Island, New York. (In fact, it was the first show I was cast in after moving to the Big Apple.) Kostroff was a man dedicated to the show and role (Max Bialystock) that he has performed many times over the years, constantly working out bits and jokes with fellow actors as if he was doing it all for the first time. It was that preparation and passion that made him a joy to watch as well as work with onstage.
Through the years I’ve seen his diligence come through not only as an actor, but in his work as a coach and teacher for fellow actors. He truly loves the craft of acting as well as the mindset it takes to work in such a demanding profession. So when thinking of those to bring on my podcast and share insights into making it in the entertainment industry, he was one of the first people I thought of.
The Working Actor
Apart from his stage work, Michael has appeared in numerous TV shows, like The Wire and Law & Order: SVU (IMDB). He also leads workshops, writes his own blog The Weekly Curmudgeon, has contributed to Backstage, and is a published author of Letters from the Road and Audition Psych.
Michael’s knowledge of the industry is vast yet unassuming. To talk to him is like sitting down with your favorite uncle mixed that funny neighbor across the street. His energy and passion for acting is both infectious and inspiring. So I asked him what keeps him going in this business, even when he doesn’t book the part or do his best work.
- What is the driving force or key ingredient to your success?
Very tough question. I think I’d have to say self-knowledge. I know who I am, how I’m seen, what kinds of roles I’m right for, and where I am in my career. I also know what I do well and what I don’t, and which kinds of experiences appeal to me and which don’t. All of that helps me identify and pursue things I can be successful at. - What keeps you motivated during setbacks and eventually helps you get back on track?
I don’t know that I’m always successful at staying motivated, nor do I necessarily hold staying motivated as one of my more important goals. The facts are these: I get discouraged. I get depressed. I sometimes forget successes I’ve had and feel like loser who has no career. And during those times, I allow myself to go through those feelings, rather than denying them. I don’t rush them along. I just feel them, knowing that, yes, maybe they’re a little neurotic, and just letting myself process through them. In a tough career like acting, I think we have to allow for discouragement and lack of motivation from time to time. These feelings pass. I do, however, try to work against desperation, because that’s an emotion that can grow, and feed on itself. When the career isn’t going well, I try to focus on other things, let down time be down time.
The Struggling Actor
It is refreshing to hear someone as successful as Michael owning up to the fact that we all deal with feelings of discouragement and not being enough. We have to let those feelings have their time to be felt and expressed. I know for myself that acting is a series of highs and lows. One minute dream jobs are coming my way and I’m working with amazing people. Then the next moment nothing is going right and I can’t snag a callback or even find motivation to attend yet another audition.
I had a recent stretch of seven months of countless auditions and no work. There were some callbacks, but mostly it was one perfect role after another that ended in silence and rejection. But just as Michael said, I had to remind myself of who I am as an actor (and person) and what I bring into the room. And more importantly, I had to remember it’s not gonna fit with every show or theater, even if I’m right for the role.
So during those seven months I focused on other things (like my podcast and enjoying mini-staycations in NYC) and gave myself down time away from theater, especially after a string of dead-end auditions. How true it is that there is more to life than work and professional accolades. And once I focused back on my own path and on being a well-rounded, full-bodied individual, I found a much clearer way forward. And so will you…
