Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Since childhood, we have always put our parents on the opposite side of us. It is common that we get along with them in a confrontational or an evasive way in our generation. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have what we really want to talk to them. On the contrary, it is these unspoken sincere words that make us more and more distant from our parents. That arouses many misunderstandings and obstacles between parents and children.
During my college application period, I had a big argument with my parents. They believed that as a girl, I needed to choose a major that can bring stable jobs and Education was their choice for me. However, I had no interest in it and chose a major that is very different from what they like. I have always been a very obedient child and I have never argued with them before. But this time, I refused to listen to them and they compromised finally. Since then, my relationship with my parents seemed to be gradually alienated.
I knew deeply that we couldn’t continue in this way and we needed communication. But taking the first step to communicate with parents was not that easy. You may need to wait for a suitable opportunity and to find a way to make each other acceptable.
The distance among the Pacific Ocean allowed us to open our hearts to each other.Now I contact them almost every day intentionally or unintentionally. Studying abroad gives me a sense of distance from my parents: I do not know the details of my parents’ lives, and my parents do not know my learning status. That provides us more topics to talk about. The distance creates beauty which makes us know each other more.As we know, it is incredibly difficult and stressful when we don’t have support and loved ones nearby — even if they say little, their presence is comforting to us. Similarly, although we are not able to accompany them often, our existence is also their pride and comfort.
A few days ago, I watched a Chinese TV show called “Wo Jia Na Gui Nv” which talked about the relationship between parents and children. Mai Jia said, “You put the world in your heart, but you squeeze out the dearest people around you. If one day you find your parents are old or even dead, then you will realize it, and you will regret it. I think there will be many regrets in life, but this will be the greatest regret.” We are always too easy to be touched by strangers and too harsh on intimate people.Strangers have never had a sense of existence in our world. When they happen occasionally, even a kind smile can make us feel warm. However, we live together day and night with our parents. We have long been accustomed to their care, but occasional conflicts can make us alienate gradually. Instead of feeling wronged and acting rudely to parents, we have to adjust our mindset and try to communicate with them.
10,000 miles and 16 hours’ time difference make me learn an important lesson. Our parents may not be perfect, but you never know how much they have done for you in places you can’t see. When parents are old, we should begin to love them as much as they love us. I learned that I should not blindly blame and resent parents because of their misunderstanding about our choice. Rather, trying to communicate with each other may gain unexpected results.
