It’s Time To Surround Yourself With Good People

Coronavirus lockdown has made us all realize many things in life. One of which is who our true friends really are.

In a world of uncertain futures, a person can easily make or break themselves by choosing whether or not to follow these simple pieces of advice.

1. LET GO OF NEGATIVE RELATIONSHIPS

Negative relationships and having to maintain them are nothing but wastes of your precious life energy. Are you usually team leader, yet your subordinates lack the same passion as you? Are you in a group of friends, yet feel distant? Are you in a relationship but don’t feel fulfilled?

The best way to determine who these individuals are is to think about how you feel after spending time with them.

After hanging out, do you feel good about yourself and ready to take on new challenges? Or do you feel upset, unsure of yourself and relieved that your interaction has ended?

Sometimes we may think that we have no right to be upset after spending time people who we consider to be “close friends”, but that is very wrong. Our emotions exist to tell us things — they’re a gift that lets us know what we need to change in order to feel more fulfilled. If you feel drained, fearful, agitated or have a lowered sense of self-esteem after spending time with someone, it’s a sign they aren’t good for you.

A clear sign that you are not in the right place/crowd is that you often get that “self-conscious” or “uncomfortable” feeling. When you get this feeling, it often becomes hard to act like yourself, or live in the moment. If you experience this, remember that is not your fault at all.

Here’ another tip: Focus on the content of your conversations.

• Are you usually OP’ed or left out of the conversation?
• Do you spend way more time listening to other people’s stories than sharing your own?
• Are the topics you talk about unintriguing, shallow or irrelevant to you? (I.E. Trends, pop culture, gossip, etc…)
• Do your points have impact? or do people just brush them off as if they weren’t listening?
• Do you sometimes feel like a secondary and unimportant character when you spend time with this group of people?

Sometimes, it is possible to have more meaningful conversations with complete strangers rather than long-time friends. Remember your last deep conversation someone you didn’t know? Remember how you are able to talk about all sorts of facets of life without a heavy filter on? Remember how free, engaged and fulfilled you felt?

It can often be uncomfortable to step away from relationships that are lacking.

For many people around the world, barriers like history and past relations hinder them from starting fresh. You don’t want to burn bridges, especially if you might have known some of these friends or colleagues for a long time. But it’s essential not to feel obligated because they are “old friends” or feel that you owe them something. Determine what’s driving your decision to stay in these relationships, so that you can change your mindset and free yourself. Think about it.

• Are you staying with this group of people because you fear having no fallback?
• Are you scared of leaving this group for fear that they might ridicule you.

Here’s a piece of mind. If you are usually the one reaching out, and not the one being reached out to, then it’s a good idea to consider if your friends are really reciprocating the love you give to them.

The moment you cut off these “nuisances” from your life, you can finally focus on what matters to you, and receive the love and support that YOU DESERVE.

2. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO ELEVATE YOU

We all have goals in our lives, but which objectives are musts in your book? The pursuits you choose to invest time in are a reflection of your standards, and so are your relationships.

• Are you trying to grow your business? Then why waste your time with distractions.
• Do you love living in the moment? Then why do you allow people to spoil it for you.
• Do you have unique hobbies, talents or even tastes in music? Then why waste your time hanging around people who don’t even get it.
• Do you like taking risks and trying new things? Then why waste your time with people who can’t keep up.
• Are you incredibly intelligent? Then why are you spending time with bums who don’t even listen because their tiny minds can’t absorb it.

Here are two sayings I hear thrown around from time to time. It’s a great point for reflection.

“If you are the smartest person in the room. Then you are in the wrong room.”

“It’s not that you are out of their league. They are out of yours.”

3. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH MATURE AND DRIVEN PEOPLE

“All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone” is a pretty nice phrase. In order to surround yourself with people who will take you to the next level, you need to spend time where they are.

Ambitious people usually attend seminars and workshops that feed their minds and cause them to stretch themselves. You usually don’t find them binge-watching Netflix or keeping up with pop-culture trends and news because they are too busy focusing on what they love to do. People like this often wake up early in the morning and exercise on a consistent basis. They follow a disciplined yet flexible routine that helps them maximize their enjoyment in life.

Driven people can be found facing their books, instead of Facebook. The most happy people in the world don’t need to prove it, which is why you rarely find them on social media. True physically-fit people need not take selfies of themselves at the gym. Truly beautiful people are out there in the real world, and not on their phones all the time. The same goes for the most successful people.

Being down-to-earth is a severely underrated personality trait, because the world nowadays is focused too much on “having” than “being”.

You have the right to set standards.

Many people may try to convince you that no “perfect” persons exist or that having high expectations can often ruin life for you. I get these arguments, but I beg to differ.

If you don’t become choosy in your choice of relationships, eventually you will suffer the consequences. If you stick around with losers, you will end up becoming one. It is similar to how, if you aren’t picky in your food choices, it could mean the difference between long happy life, versus heart attack at 45.

This goes especially true for big decisions in life such as choosing a husband/wife, the choice of having children, etc…

When you are given the right to choose, why not use it?