Miracles in Being a Woman
Snowshoeing recently with a group of women, we talked about whether we’d trade our earned wisdom for a chance to be 20-years-old again. With robust laughter, we were all emphatic in saying ‘No!’ For the young women who read this, your twenties are the building blocks for your own wisdom. Enjoy yourself, be kind to yourself, but try to accept that, without question, you are going to grow and change. Like a ship at sea heading to port, it will be full of storms, days of calm, joy, pain, tears, doubts and fears, but slowly over time, you learn the miracle of being a woman.
When I was 20, I was so incredibly unsure of who I was that I thought marriage would ground me. As if I were loved by someone else, it would mean I was lovable. To be fair to my ex husband, I was convinced I would stay the exact same person, devoted to being his wife, and wanting to have his babies. Then I changed. We all do, don’t we?
My wisdom is my golden nugget, my own hidden secret of being a woman that I share with my fellow sisters. When we finally get tired of being something and someone for everyone else, we start to settle into who we are. Once we realize and accept it, the pain in our life begins to have a purpose. The collective wisdom of our stories and our heartbreaks leaves us with one universal question: Will I choose love or will I choose fear? Is it time to embrace the miracle of being a woman and love yourself? True wisdom knows the correct answer.
Soul
Surrounded by women I love, I’m reminded of the miracle of being a woman, or a better term: being a goddess. There’s a negative connotation to the word ‘goddess’ and what it represents.
I prefer this definition:
I found God in myself and I loved HER. I loved HER fiercely
Ntozake Shange
I’ve experienced the wounded animal within a goddess’ heart, the damaged broken spirit that comes out when women savagely hurt other women. I experienced it in a raw and naked form that left me gasping for breath. I’ve also witnessed many men who prefer to see women as less than human; as though having boobs makes us inadequate. I pity the man who is duped into believing this. He completely misses out on the miracle of our womanhood.
How sad and tragic for the man who misses these blessings. The prevailing misogyny in our culture is witnessed in social media, in our workplaces, and unfortunately, in many relationships.
But what can we as women do about it?
Only unifying women all over the world can change this culture. When the bonds between women are strong, it can change who we are and help us grow closer to our strength, our centre. In friendship with the goddesses of this world, we gain a deeper relationship with ourselves. United with our fellow sisters, we experience the true nature of our souls. Because of my life changing relationships with other women, I have found my own goddess heart.
In celebration of International Women’s Day, we reflect back to the history of our sisterhood, recognizing women who fought for our right to vote, free choice, proper education and equal rights. In countries all over the world this struggle continues. In North America today, I’d say our fight is a different one. Woman need to stop fighting among ourselves and perpetuating the pop culture myths. We are not in a competition! Stop this insane belief and you will stop giving all your power away. The moment a woman decides to give into this notion, we are all set back.
Say yes to all of us!
As a tech startup CEO, I meet women in my industry continuously who have traded their divine feminine energy to survive in a male dominated industry. When a woman enters their territory, they’re not viewed as fellow sisters but as competition. We’re quick to place stereotypes and dismiss other women in favour of the men. Don’t we know better by now? In the words of Oprah, “Since you know better, you must do better.” We’ve got to reflect on our shared experiences, see our struggles to find our voices and know that every woman we meet is on a journey. We must respect her, send her love and compassion as she finds her truth, regardless of how she behaves. Yes, regardless of how she behaves!
Start Up
Be forewarned, this section is going to be direct, harsh and pull no punches. But, if you’re a woman entering the level of maturity where you know the difference between being nasty and being nice to your fellow sisters, this message is for you.
The miracle in being a woman is knowing that we can do two things to each other: break each others hearts or heal them. Which do you do? Seriously. Ask yourself. I know I’ve been both and since I know better now, I strive to be better. My deepest regrets are the times where I hurt other women in the name of my own pursuits.
If you have been that woman who takes pleasure in dividing with gossip, I challenge you to take this pledge:
From this day forward, I will recognize each woman I meet as having a story as deep and rich as my own. Her behaviour, good or bad, is not who she is, but a reflection of where she is in her own story.
If this seems impossible, write in your journal about all of the women and girls who broke your heart. The reasons and their stories, think about each of them, get it out, write it down, then forgive her. It will be the thing that set you free to begin fully experiencing the miracle of being a woman. Isn’t it about time?
