On Death
Kendrick Rogers was a memorable person in Hampton Roads.
He’s no longer with us because he took his last breath in December of 2020.
He had sickle cell anemia
His loved ones can’t help but imagine how he could be with us if COVID were not as big of an issue in the hospitals.
Because the hospitals were overcrowded, he couldn’t get the proper care he needed during his crisis.
Kendrick was sent home from the hospital but then ended up going back.
They sent him home to keep him safe.
Safe from Covid at least.
Kendrick had been dealing with Sickle Cell his whole life, so he had pain management skills.
The pain wasn’t new, but this time it escalated more than usual.
I had a dream about my friend Kendrick last night.
We were hanging out at a Miami rental with some friends and family.
I was explaining to him why he shouldn’t be with us.
What’s going on man?
How are you here?
At this point I’m confused and I’m asking him,
What happened?
He wouldn’t tell me.
I kept asking him throughout the dream.
I’ll tell you later.
Let’s just have some fun.
Let’s Live
In the distance, I can hear my son crying and I realize this isn’t a part of my dream.
I woke up.
I immediately started crying.
It hit me at that moment how I wasn’t able to properly grieve over my very close friend and even my brother Kendrick.
Unfortunately, a few months before Kendrick died.
One of his close friends, and my family member, my aunt also passed away.
They passed away within six months of each other.
It was a devastating time.
I realized that while I was still grieving the loss of my aunt,
one of my best friends passed away.
Death.
We run from the topic.
We don’t acknowledge it’s coming.
You and I are going to die.
Even still I constantly remember.
The life that my friend Kendrick lived.
I never understood why he was this way until he died.
He was always ready for an adventure, and it was because he understood.
How real and soon mortality is.
When you have sickle cell anemia the life expectancy is low.
Life expectancy is 20–30 years less on average.
If you make it to 50 and you have sickle cell, you’re doing something special.
With the probability of a short life,
he understood that living to be 32 was a blessing.
Even more of a blessing during COVID.
He was a traveler.
I was constantly telling him, “He was moving too fast”.
“I only got one life and I gotta live it” and he sure did it.
He understood you do only live once.
It’s part of the reason why I’m writing and talking about the wisdom that I’ve collected throughout life.
When I think about this topic of death.
How else could I not share my thoughts?
On that last day
Lying on your deathbed.
You’re not going to remember the mundane things you did.
You’ll remember the once-in-a-lifetime moments.
The memory you spent with friends and family.
Traveling like Kendrick or spending time laughing and joking around.
Healthily enjoying yourself.
But you also remember.
The ways you contributed to other people’s lives.
I want to be proud.
On that last day.
I know Kendrick was.
Enjoy your walk.
