How to Talk to Someone Who is Depressed
What you say can make things better… or make it worse
This article is part of a Wise & Well Special Report: The United States of Depression.
Jake (whose name is changed to protect his confidentiality) was eight years old when his father died suddenly. He described his family’s reactions and what they expected from him. You’re the man of the family, now. You’re a big boy; there’s no time for tears. Your father is in a better place.
Jake’s father’s death was rarely discussed within his immediate family. There was an assumption that you just move on and that talking about it will make things worse. Their motives may have been good, but the end result left him suffering and alone. This hardened Jake to the world and contributed to a low level of depression that lasted into adulthood.
Regardless of its causes, learning how to talk about depression — along with grief, sadness, or trauma — is essential.
Depression can surface during tough times (like a financial setback or divorce). It can accompany grief and loss and is a component of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder, which is a complex response to trauma). It also may linger as dysthymia (a low-level but persistent form of mild depression) or can manifest as a more severe condition…
