The 7 Most Common Emotions of Chronic Pain

I interviewed dozens of sufferers and experts to learn about the anger, guilt, grief, and other feelings that come with constant hurt

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I feel guilty every time it happens.

I’ll be in my La-Z-Boy listening to my wife tell me a story about how her cousin is trying to deal with her husband, who has Lewy body dementia. I’ll sit there trying to take in all the information, but my body is searing with head-to-toe hurt.

As my wife and caregiver continues to speak, I try to hide how I feel, but my face betrays me. I look grouchy, grumpy, and gruff.

“Are you mad at me?” she’ll ask, sensing that something is amiss and wrongly assuming that she did something to piss me off.

You see, I was born with a rare genetic disease that has made my bones and joints deform. Over time, my body degenerated, causing severe chronic pain (defined as pain that endures more than three months, past normal healing time). I’ve had eight joint replacements (both hips twice, both knees, and both shoulders) and my ankles fused.

As I wrestle with how to react to my wife, inside, I am a mess of emotions. I’m worried about how long it will take the pain to pass, if it ever will. I am ashamed at…