Why Romantic Rejection Makes Us Act Like Cocaine Addicts
Brain scans explain our extreme and clingy behaviors
My friend, Randy (not his real name), is one of the most rational people I know. So, I was surprised when he described his extremely irrational behavior when his most recent girlfriend broke up with him. He called her incessantly, made dramatic gestures, and even considered quitting his job and moving across the country to try to convince her to get back with him.
Now in hindsight, Randy can see clearly that she isn’t right for him, and he no longer feels an intense attraction towards her.
But Randy’s obsession completely blindsided him. He had maintained many multi-year relationships with no drama and wanted an explanation for his incredible switch from a perfectly rational person to an obsessed lover.
As a relationship coach who has coached many people through this illogical and extreme flip many times, I wanted to understand the physiological basis behind it, too.
What I learned surprised me. Randy’s intense emotions at the time weren’t because he was deeply in love, it was because he had been rejected.
