Your Sense of ‘Self’ is Driving You Crazy

A specific type of meditation can cure this neurosis

Illustration: created by the author using Midjourney.

I looked at the message on my phone and thought, “Oof. That’s embarrassing.” The email from my colleague, sent an hour earlier, asked, “Are we still meeting?” I had totally forgotten about this meeting.

Adrenaline rushed. Self-recrimination played. Groveling apologies were rehearsed. Finally I managed to get a grip on my frazzled mind, and ask myself a question.

What, exactly, was “embarrassed” here?

Was my body embarrassed? Maybe my body was experiencing what we could call the physiological response of embarrassment, but surely my legs, arms, neck, nose, etc., were not themselves the things that were embarrassed.

What about my brain? Were my neurons embarrassed? Nope. That’s just another body part.

Then…what? Ah. It must be my self. My self was embarrassed. But where exactly is this self? And what exactly is this self? The answer to this question is at the root of a specific approach to meditation.

This approach — called “non-dual meditation” — can help us move beyond our neurotic self-talk to recognize the calm and beautiful openness of our consciousness.

Where in your brain are you?