How to Transition from Active Parenting to Hands-Off Parenting
Our adult children need supportive friends, not controlling parents
As a parent, it is very hard to break old habit patterns. At one time, we were our children’s caretakers in every sense of the word. We met all their physical, mental and emotional needs because they needed us to do so in order to survive.
We made decisions for them, and we often scuttled their decisions because we thought we knew best. We guided them the best we could by correcting them, pointing out where they were wrong and trying to get them to see a better way. We did the best we could to prepare them for life.
But many of us missed the memo that this is not a permanent position. We are a temporary hire, and once the job is ended, it’s time for us to move on to the next thing.
Parents who love their job are reluctant to let it go. They keep hanging around after they have completed the job. We felt needed when we were actively parenting, and we have a hard time transitioning to the next phase of the job — that is, butting out of our children’s lives and simply being there as moral support.
They don’t need us to guide their ships anymore, but if we are lucky, they will want us to accompany them on their trip.
