Are you focusing on Wrong Things? 6 Habits that Stop You from Growing in Life
Life has taught me a simple strategy, when I can’t decide on what to change in myself or what to do, I simply focus on habits of others that I do not like and do exactly the opposite of what they are doing. Trust me it works all the time and everywhere. Change is a constant process and the best time is always NOW. It is not a crime to make mistakes or be unwise or make wrong decisions, let’s accept it, we all have made mistakes in life but it’s not the mistake that matters, what you did about it is all that makes you different from the crowd.
You do not have to be born wise, or always doing the right things, instead start being constructive.
Small steps today lead a long way tomorrow!
Here are a few mantras which made my life easier.
1. Million ideas and future planning!
Life is all about persistence & gaining momentum on your actions, despite challenges or roadblocks.
Starting & stopping endlessly not only makes you unproductive but also drains your tenacity to initiate anything next time.
Learn to stick to your ideas, and keep executing them, even if there is no initial movement. Starting with excitement & quitting because you did not get instant gratification is the sign of fickleness and will get you nowhere. It only creates an image of a person who doesn’t stick to anything and has no specific identity. Get into the habit of doing something consistently, do not plan big or very long term, start with a month, then next 3 months, then six, gradually a year and once it becomes a habit, you will not quit. Develop habits and stop putting your finger in all pies. Learn to trust the process and learn to trust your goal. Slowly but surely, you will be there, one day. Giving up is easy & experimentation never gets you anywhere unless it’s persistent.
2. Action speaks larger than words!
Focus on what you are doing instead of what you are trying to become.
Stop planning everything to perfection before you initiate a project. Whether it’s a blog or a business, you need not have everything in place and perfect before you start. Instead be an action taker, start with however small the idea and with whatever little you have in hand and make changes as you progress.
If you want to win in life, stop being the perfect planner & start being the action taker. It’s not the action; it’s the inaction that kills you!
3. Comparing doesn’t make things easy!
Accept it, we bond over one common thing — OTHERS
Whether good or bad, we love talking about others & their achievements & failures. Ask yourself, what is it that you talk about mostly with people you bond with? Most of the time it will be about your favorite sport star, movie star, business leader, politician, restaurant, movie, etc. — what other people worked hard for and achieved. Similarly, you bond on negativity too….. Remember the last water cooler discussion about the colleague with a weird hair-do or a sudden promotion? Or the last discussion on how weird a movie star’s dress was in the red carpet or how badly a player is performing this year? Now I ask you, is it them or is it you, who is weirder? Why do you have to care about what they’re doing or wearing or saying or even thinking?
This habit of ours about caring of what others do not only works on a personal but also on a macro level in our life. Right from gossiping about a public figure to your next door neighbor, this habit only strengthens the distortions and distractions in your life and only takes you a step farther from your life mission.
Next time, you sigh on the vacation pictures or anniversary posts of your friends on social media and start feeling bad about your life, STOP. Let others and their lives not distort your reality, start giving importance to your life and your goals, what others are doing with their lives is really not important, even if they are a celebrity.
Learn to focus on yourself, your goals, your habits, your outcomes and watch yourself becoming productive naturally.
4. Excuses and worries will take you nowhere!
Everything in your life has the importance you give it.
Ask anyone, everyone has an excuse or worry that is stopping them from taking an action or making a change. The world and society is unfair for everyone, whether you are a billionaire or a beggar.
You are always too poor, too old, too young, too fat, too thin, too unloved, too misunderstood, too fair, too dark, too soft, too hard, too busy or too free. You have never had a happy childhood, or you have been hurt in love, or your business had run into a loss, or your health doesn’t support you.
In short, you always have a unique unfair thing going on in your life that no one will understand.
Paying attention to your excuse is only feeding your inactions. If you want to achieve anything in life, stop giving importance to your excuses and learn to win regardless of your situation.
5. Information is a ‘Choice’
Stop being obsessed with the news and media. Whether social or mainstream, most news is designed to misinform. Start prioritizing yourself and your health, relationships, career, business, habits, etc. Information, if important for you will find you, trust me on that. Stop obsessing on the need to know as you are cluttering your mind space with all information that drains your positive energy.
Open any social media or main stream media, negativity sells, so all you end up filling your mind space is with information about wars, political fights, rapes, murders, shootings, stabbings, layoffs, etc. If this is what you are feeding yourself first thing in the morning, how can you imagine yourself in a positive, achiever mood all through the day?
You do not have to avoid the news on purpose, just learn to push it down your list of priorities and gradually watch it becoming ineffective in your daily routine.
Look around you, most people who are obsessed with politics or crime or war are irritated, unhealthy, and argumentative for a cause that has no meaning in their daily life. Similarly, people obsessed with social media have attributes like attention crisis, inferiority complex and have nothing in their life that provides meaning to their life or the surrounding in general.
Stop prioritizing the world and start prioritizing your life first.
6. Having fun and taking a break won’t kill you!
Learn to enjoy life and value relations. Learn to destress your brain with a dose of fun and entertainment.
Stop overworking your brain, it needs to recharge too. Do not be a robot, do not be a slave to work or leisure, learn to balance. Do not use work or leisure as your coping mechanism from things you haven’t achieved or failed in. Stop lying to yourself; don’t stifle yourself with too much work or too much pleasure.
So it is absolutely okay & necessary to give it plenty of constructive happy breaks. Go out with friends for a drink, go watch a movie once in a while, go swim, play pool, do whatever helps you completely unwind and relax and not think about work.
Learn to be true to yourself regarding things you want in life. It is okay to want tons of wealth or fame and recognition or a new relationship, do not be ashamed of your wants. Learn to define them, work for them, and be creative with whatever you have and wherever you stand in life. Start with actions, only thinking about it will not get them served on a silver platter to you.
Grapes are not sour! Stop blaming the situations or things that you want but haven’t yet achieved. Instead, define them and then start taking actions towards achieving them.
Clear up your brain space from thoughts of others and their actions or lives, start by calling all your attention back on your ideas and your life.
Trust me, if not great, life will start feeling a little better at the least!
