How to Connect to Your Most Sensual Self

Hectic lives are often overstimulating our female sensitivities, stopping us from being in tune with our sensuality and intimacy. It takes some practice, but discovering your own sensory pleasures will make you feel better with yourself and others!

Whether it’s biological, societal or psychological, studies suggest that women are more sensitive than men. Our sensory perception of the world is slightly different and our approach to sensuality differs.

Visually, while men are more perceptible to movements in space, probably as they used to be hunters, women are more sensitive towards distinguishing aesthetic differences such as slight changes in colour. Women are also better in in identifying scents and differentiating taste — this is suggested to be the case as women over a very long time were culturally more prone to fulfilling tasks such as cooking.

Thanks to this heightened sensibility it is easier for women to get distracted and overwhelmed through external stimulations, making it hard tuning into themselves and being able to actively seek pleasurable stimulation. We often have too much going on at the same time, our phone is vibrating while we are listening to music and talking to our friends over a glass of wine, or are stressed with more than one job at a time, that we don’t ever take a moment to really listen to our bodies. Plus there is a big stigma around talking about female sensuality, we often don’t even talk to our closest girl-friends about our intimate desires - which makes it even harder to figure out how different stimuli effect us.

As research shows, much more women than men struggle to have a fulfilling and healthy sex-life, or even struggle to enjoy having sex at all. This could be due to a misunderstanding about our own bodies. We learn how sex should be and how we should act to please our partner through sexualised, male dominated media, but we are rarely taught to listen to our own bodies and ask for what we want and need. But how do we even know what to ask for?

We can uncover our full potential as a sensual woman if we start listening to our bodies more deeply and allowing ourselves to truly feel. Sharing these personal deep dives with partners or friends is important, as we learn to understand how individual our senses and pleasures are, and that there is no recipe for stimulation that fits all. The more we try different things and the more we are aware of what is happening in our body when our senses are stimulated, the more we can use sensory stimulation as a tool to make us feel better and build stronger intimate relationships with ourselves and our partners.

• Touch yourself more often and remember how it makes you feel and how and where you like it.
• Write a list of smells that remind you of moments in which you feel happy, relaxed or in love.
• Create a playlist with all the songs that are touching you deep within.

Like this you can build your own repertoire of stimulants to go back to when you want to change your mood, increase your wellbeing or get turned on. The more you and your partners know how to coordinate your senses, the more you can let yourself go and be your most sensual self.