Top Five Times Taylor Swift Showed Us How Many Friends She Has on the 1989 World Tour

I spent more money to see the 1989 tour than I’ve ever paid to see anything ever and my show didn’t even have a special guest but whatever I only have eyes for Taylor (and Little Mix and Alanis Morissette and Charli XCX) so here’s a list of the top five guests on the 1989 tour I didn’t get to see!

  1. Charli XCX: Charli wore glitter co-ordinates with mustard colored pompoms around her wrists and platform black clogs to perform “Boom Clap” which is what I would also wear if Taylor invited me on stage. I like Charli so much because she lacks pop star finish but is still a pop star who works with the biggest, shiniest pop stars and offers a Daria type dead face to counteract Taylor’s huge white teeth.
  2. Fetty Wap: 2015 was Fetty’s year and I’m sorry he had to see Taylor dance to “Trap Queen” but he’s a pro and looked at home with 60,000 twinkling cell phone lights behind him. Fetty is loose charm and zero affectation or persona, two things I think the 1989 stage really needed and he casually delivered in the three minutes he was there.
  3. Alessia Cara: I read an article recently about “Here” that I desperately wish I had written that basically addresses the lack of pessimism in top 40 music and how “Here,” a huge top 40 hit, has carved a place for itself amongst the hyper presence of most pop music. “Here” is reverse FOMO wherein the fear lies in both the social anxiety and social indifference the non pop part of our brains often feel. I think Cara is cool and slept on and I like her as a foil to Taylor’s brand of caring too much because sometimes we don’t care at all and that deserves radio play too.
  4. Alanis Morissette: My Alanis roots are deep — Jagged Little Pill was my first cassette deep and I remember self-censoring the curse words in “You Oughta Know” when my dad walked by my room. I’m not sure what I resonated so strongly with at age 7 but I think my mushy kid brain knew it would be important later. Taylor introduces Alanis with “she defined the generation of female songwriters and taught us you could get really, really mad if you wanted to,” which is maybe exactly what 7 year old me recognized — an angry woman. Likely I recognized a pretty lady with long brown hair and attached myself to her for those reasons but I do think Alanis filled an emotion slot I didn’t even recognize was unrepresented. I am not naïve enough to think that Alanis singing 90 seconds of “You Oughta Know” had a profound influence on the audience but maybe Taylor citing her as a teacher of the female emotional craft did. I don’t think younger audiences have as many emotional outliers as maybe we did in the 90s — we had women representing a range of emotions and providing commentary on every imaginable strand of the female narrative but they weren’t mainstream or accessible as children with only the radio and TigerBeat magazine as resources. I also love that the lyrics “is she perverted like me, would she go down on you in a theatre” had the spotlight at a Taylor Swift show.
  5. Little Mix: I wrote a treatise on this already so peep that here.