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Jimmy Kimmel via Heute. Creative Commons license

Full disclosure: I never liked Jimmy Kimmel.

Many remember Kimmel as just the old-school sexist sidekick to what’s his face on The Man Show. With its “Juggy Dance Squad” and “Girls on Trampolines”, the basic cable “sketch comedy” show was light on actual comedy and heavy on maintaining and mainstreaming that winking male chauvinism of the good ol’ days. It showcased a vortex in which two completely average-looking dudes with no particular charm or talent enjoyed a harem of curvy beauties who literally just smile and bounce. The vicarious thrill didn’t end with merely objectifying women. They relentlessly mocked women and any strides toward equality. It was a comforting armchair misogyny that reassured angsty men that nothing needed to change.

Are you too a talentless average dude who meets none of the physical beauty standards you think you deserve in a woman? In multiple women? Are you a five or a six who feels entitled to 10s? Welcome to a fun fantasy world where crass is championed, where men don’t have to cultivate a personality to be rewarded by the opinion-less proximity of gorgeous women with bikini-perfect bodies. Women exist for your visual consumption. Your basest, raunchiest impulses are intrinsically your most…