RE: Gay Marriage and the Christian Church

A straight male friend in Divinity School recently shared this article, which discusses the effects of gay marriage on the evangelical wing of the Christian Church. Here is my response…

I can understand the soul-searching going on and I can respect the concerns of not being in “the moral majority” anymore. As a Jew and a vegetarian, I know what it’s like to be in situations to which you morally object (even if I’ve never argued that having to function in a society that doesn’t follow my dogma is a threat to my religious liberty).

But I do take offense that gay marriage is considered part of “the loss of a culture of marriage”. It should be celebrated as an affirmation of love and commitment and child-rearing - all those things fundamental to the institution of marriage. It should be celebrated as a return to the culture of monogamy that has been heretofore unrecognized by our government for gay individuals. Isn’t it ironic that the author bemoans the decline in young couples who get married and yet would prefer that a large portion of the population never gets married? (Telling a gay person to have a straight marriage is like telling a straight person to have a gay marriage - can you imagine the anguish you would feel if your community told you that you could only have a gay wedding?) The more states that support gay marriage the more marriages we will have that last 40, 50, or 60 years - something the author expressly desires.

Gay marriage should be celebrated as a return to the culture of monogamy that has been heretofore unrecognized by our government for gay individuals.

If we believe in the institution of marriage, shouldn’t we want more committed couples (gay or straight) to spend their lives building a stable family rather than fewer? Gay women can become pregnant via in vitro fertilization just as well as straight women can; do the evangelical witness believe infertile married straight women shouldn’t have this option? Gay men can adopt or foster children just as well as straight men. Gay couples get married for the same reasons that straight couples get married: to raise children and to affirm their commitment before God and man. Focusing on a gay couple’s body parts or sexual activities when deciding which marriages to support does a disservice to the entire institution of marriage.

Focusing on a gay couple’s body parts or sexual activities when deciding which marriages to support does a disservice to the entire institution of marriage.

Trying to define marriage in a way that prevents sin is impossible. All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins. It is a life-long journey for every individual to find peace with his or her own actions, to atone for his or her own sins, to find the spiritual calling that gives purpose to his or her own life. It is not our place to condemn those on this journey. As none of us are without sin, none of us have the moral ground to cast stones. Voting for laws that demean gays for being gay (and “demean” is indeed what the Supreme Court ruled was the intention of DOMA) is equivalent to casting stones. I hope that Christians will eventually make supporting love a higher value than castigating sin. IMHO, it’s what the Jewish Carpenter would want.

I hope that Christians will eventually make supporting love a higher value than castigating sin.