Depression — Talk and Get Help When You Need It
So I’m going to write about my personal mental health journey which was my experience with depression. I was diagnosed with clinical depression at a young age. In the initial struggles with depression — I didn’t even recognise it, I just thought I was sad. My dad had overcome depression himself and that is when he saw the signs in me and decided to take me to a psychologist for therapy. While I was battling with depression, I lost my appetite, I would just sit in the darkness all day and watched movies — that was the definition of fun for me at that point in my life. As a child, I was very bubbly, loving and always energetic. Loss of energy and enthusiasm were one of the first few signs I showed. It was a constant struggle for me, I kept falling into it. When you’re hurting yourself you’re prone to hurt others around you too! Whether it’s by being extremely cranky or sometimes even rude. It’s not justified at all but when you have a chronic sadness inside you that’s what you spread too. Therapy is what truly helped me.
Talking about things — getting another perspective in an environment which isn’t toxic and where the other person wants me to grow — really helped me. My psychologist was really good and helped me get through it. I realised that being alone isn’t the way to do it, and that I had to help myself before anyone else could actually help me. In the beginning I was forced to sleep only 8 hours a day, go out for a walk/jog, talk to my friends and spend more time with family. This bare minimum felt torturous. I also learnt, that it is very important toaccept your life — accept your mistakes, your decisions and things which are fate and you cannot change them whether it’s family problems or losing your loved ones. Talking about things that you think are bothering you is so important and I cannot emphasise it enough, repression of thoughts and feelings are basically barriers in getting and feeling better. For me, due to some personal reasons watching my loved ones in pain also made me feel worse and I would end up blaming myself for everything. I felt like people are constantly looking at me and thinking nasty things when that barely ever was true. Forgiveness and self love are extremely important. Accepting your mistakes, learning from them and moving on to the other beautiful things that life has for us is important.
Also, depression isn’t something that just goes away one day. It stays with you, I remember having a great day but then the next day or even the same evening I would just feeling extremely sad for no apparent reason. That is when it’s most important to do something you enjoy, talk to someone or just sit with the people who love you. There are good days and then there are bad days. I am a depression survivor and I think it has only made me stronger and appreciate life even more. Talk and get help when you need it.
By Anushka Malhotra,
Anushka Malhotra is currently training to be a chef at Le Cordon Bleu, Paris, France. She even runs her own YouTube channel with a friend, you can check out the same below — https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqgtgKz5t0eJeV2v4dOp5bw
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