Dealing with a difficult personality in the workplace
Do you address the issue, or just keep on working?
Wizer therapist Sebastian Earl answers our most recent question submitted about how to work with people whose personalities may not be the most office-friendly.
Q: What’s the best way to work with people who have difficult personality issues? Do you address them directly or keep your nose down, do your job, and vent later?
A: Dealing with people in our lives with personality issues can be very challenging, especially when we have to deal with such people at work. Sometimes simply trying to avoid them is not really an option.
For me, it’s not a straightforward choice between addressing them or keeping your nose down.
While this can be especially frustrating, I encourage venting to a therapist. This is a vital part of the process to clear the emotions and help get our minds and feelings balanced. Venting and expressing feelings can be a fact-finding mission to discover what in you is being triggered by this difficult personality, where your boundaries might be violated, and how to explore the dynamic between you.
It is important to recognize that we usually have much more choice in a given situation then we realize. This means we get to decide whether a situation requires us to change something outside of us, or whether we need to change something inside of us.
With a difficult personality, examining how we react and what is being triggered inside of us can unlock new ways to take care of ourselves and reduce the triggering effect. Sometimes we will need to address the person and deal with the situation directly. This might involve being more forceful in enforcing boundaries, exploring effective communication tools to help express your opinion, or seeking outside help from HR or your boss.
As a therapist, my role is to help you discover the best way forward for you. I encourage you to examine options that would simultaneously be effective in dealing with the situation and provide an opportunity for personal growth and change.
Wizer is breaking through the stigma of seeking therapy, starting in San Francisco. On our app, we connect users with a personalized selection of therapists nearby, and make it easy to schedule an appointment. We see therapists like the personal trainers for our souls — just one more thing to add to our positive wellness routines. Ask our Wizer therapists anything anonymously here, and stay tuned for advice on our blog!
