The Do’s and Don’ts of Leaving a Toxic Relationship

Whether it’s a friendship gone sour, or a relationship that’s lasted past its expiration date, here are some tips to help you get out of those tough situations where you might not know what to do.

Recognizing the Signs

First off, being able to recognize if your relationship or friendship is toxic is critical. There’s a number of times where an action may come off as toxic, but can be resolved within a matter of time.

However, when a certain behavior continues and is either not resolved, or addressed by the person that it could be potentially toxic is where things get dangerous.

Some easy signs of toxic behavior or possible toxic actions might include the following:

• Invalidation of your feelings
• Making you feel guilty about basic requests
• Being contradictory in their words
• Becoming mad or cold when you make plans for yourself
• Attempting to control your plans/life
• Purposefully trying to be in charge of you or your life

These are of course just some basic examples, but toxicity comes in multiple forms, some that are harder to recognize than others. But if you can point out at least these, that’s enough to be concerned that you might be in a toxic relationship.

What do you do?

So, what does one do when they find they’re in a toxic relationship?

Confrontation isn’t always the best option, especially considering going up to someone and telling them outright you think they’re possibly toxic can be irrational.

However, it is important to let them know how you feel because you have a right to your voice and your opinion is valid.

Like before, remind yourself that it’s OK to address the problem if it’s really starting to hurt you or the other person, and there’s nothing wrong with trying to help out for the better. Sometimes it’s hard to keep the big picture in mind and it can be scary, but just remember that you’re looking out for yourself.

Now although taking your time is completely fine, your safety is also important. If this gets out of control, consider talking it out in a reasonable manner with the person and try to find a compromise. However, if it gets worse than expected, call or contact a trusted adult or the authorities (if need be).

How do I move on?

After getting out of a relationship that was toxic most people ask themselves “What do I do now?” Surprisingly there’s a lot you can do! Even though it might feel like the entire world has turned upside down, focusing on the things you enjoy, like hobbies, a sport, even academics if that’s your thing!

Remember that you can always put yourself first, you are always the priority. Try something new, get out with friends, and remind yourself how strong, amazing, and independent you are, and how far you’ve come.

Experiences like these relationships don’t always just fade away like other issues, so keep in mind that time tends to heal most wounds, and all of us as people are ever-growing, ever-changing beings! And if you feel trapped or just stuck in your head, you can always reach out to a therapist, doctor, teacher, or trusted adult.

For more information on recognizing signs of toxicity and moving on you can click these links.