One Uber Ride & A Relationship Later

Ah relationships, the never-ending cycle of dating, falling in love, and then, it all tragically comes to an end.

My last relationship came to an end after I “flirted” with an Uber driver in front of my ex. We had dated for about 6 months before I got a little too drunk, and told our driver he looked good for his age. God forbid, right?

I only know that I told our driver he looked good for his age because of what my ex told me. I remember a conversation about travel and living in other countries. I guess we’ll never know.

So anyways… This conversation with the Uber driver, or what I can remember from it, was an innocent exchange between one very drunk person to their polite driver.

I, like most people tend to get a little chatty when I drink

And at that point I had been drinking for a solid 6 hours, so I was very chatty. I got out of the car thinking I just had a great conversation. He got out ready to fight.

We got in a big argument; he didn’t talk to me for a week, deleted ALL the pictures of me off his Instagram, and decided he was done. Eventually, I got my stuff back and a generic “we are just too different” break up speech mixed in with comments about what a terrible girlfriend I was.

First of all…what the hell, right?

Trust me, it was as ridiculous as it sounds.

Not only for the fact that we are both adults and the situation could’ve and should’ve been handled with respect and consideration, but the idea that one “mistake” changed everything he felt about me.

Obviously, there had to be more to it, right? That couldn’t have been the actual reason?

The truth is I have no idea.

I struggled a lot after this past relationship. I struggled with the fact that he didn’t fight for me or even attempt to respect my feelings throughout the break-up.

But, more than anything I struggled with the idea that love can be so easily thrown away.

Drunkenly “flirting” with an Uber driver is hardly a reason to end a relationship with someone you “love”.

Did I meet my quota of mistakes that finally made me unlovable?

Was his love so based on circumstances and how he thought a girlfriend should act that he couldn’t handle the thought of me not fitting into his perfect picture of who I should be?

How are we ever supposed to feel GOOD enough, to feel WORTHY enough, when we are succumbed to relationships where we are constantly fighting to stay loved?

How can we be asked to extend ourselves over and over and over again when love has become so HALF-ASSED and disillusioned?

Well, I can’t do it anymore. I can’t settle for love based on conditions. I refuse. We are all worth so much more than that.

I want more and I expect more from my next relationship. I don’t want someone to tell me they love me, I want them to show me. Show me by being understanding, by being patient, by NOT judging me, but by fighting for me.

I can’t take another person telling me they love me and retracting that love because I make “mistakes”.

I’m not sure when I’ll be able to fully love someone again, but I know that I want to. I just hope that he will have the ability to love me unconditionally, my habit of “flirting” with Uber drivers and all.