#WomanCentered: MOLLY MAC
#WomanCentered is an independent project by conceptual artist and community organizer, Natasha Marin. Inspired by Women at the Center, a project created with support from the United Nations Foundation Universal Access Project. This series of interviews seeks to tell the inspiring, interconnected stories of women’s reproductive health, rights, and empowerment.
How has having or not having children affected the overall trajectory of your life?
I just turned 33* and I have not had children (yet?). I have never been pregnant. Also, I guess I used to think about my life as having “trajectory” in the rocket blast-off sense, but I try not to think about it that way anymore.
Do you feel pressure to fulfill an idea of womanhood that may/may not correspond to who you actually are? If so, please describe.
I was 29 when my ex-husband and I got a divorce. We had been married for six years. I remember being surprised when some people (even some very close to me) just automatically assumed that the separation was an effect of the fact that my ex-husband wanted children and I did not. Perhaps this was an easy and recognizable divorce story for others to digest, but it was definitely a judgement and a projection.
“No matter! you are so lucky, there’s still plenty of time!”
(says a woman I’ve never met at the book club my mother was hosting.)
In moments like these I was definitely overwhelmed by the way that societal assumptions were being handed down by well-intentioned people in my life (and even by complete strangers). Over time, I became even further overwhelmed when I began to realize the extent to which I had begun to internalize these societal assumptions myself. To this day I still catch myself compensating in conversation as I premeditate judgements like these in the comments of others … even though I know better …
(self-consciously googling,”feminist epiphanies” and then “white feminist epiphanies”)
Do you have advice for other women regarding birth control methods that worked well or didn’t work well for you?
I have been on various birth controls for years (hormonal and non-hormonal). They worked well in that I did not “want” to get pregnant when I was using birth control (see questions 1 & 2) and I did not get pregnant when I was using birth control. With this experience, and this lack-of experience, I hardly feel like I am in a position to give advice!
In 2016, openly discussing one’s reproductive choices is still considered taboo, why do you suppose more women aren’t having these conversations?
Fear… of the # and the adaptive search function?
*I googled the word “trajectory” before I started responding — I got lots of references to momentum and rockets blasting off, but the Internet also says trajectory can refer to an orbit around a central mass. This second option made me feel better in my initial hesitations about answering these questions …