#WomanCentered: SHANNON CARRUS
#WomanCentered is an independent project by conceptual artist and community organizer, Natasha Marin. Inspired by Women at the Center, a project created with support from the United Nations Foundation Universal Access Project. This series of interviews seeks to tell the inspiring, interconnected stories of women’s reproductive health, rights, and empowerment.
How has having or not having children affected the overall trajectory of your life?
Having my daughter has affected my life in so many ways — many of which I am still sorting through. I did not expect how all-encompassing my love for her would be, nor the extent of my need to be with her. When she was first born, it was like I couldn’t put her down. I even stayed at home with her for nine months, instead of the three that I thought I would.
Before I had her, I was very focused on my career, owned my own business and was pretty successful. Now, I struggle to stay motivated career-wise because I just want to be home with my baby. I do not know how this will affect my career, my ability to be the parent I want to be or the trajectory of my life moving forward.
Do you feel pressure to fulfill an idea of womanhood that may/may not correspond to who you actually are? If so, please describe.
Of course. As a 6ft tall, opinionated and (usually) smart person, I have been told on numerous occasions that I should be less opinionated, less tall, less confident. I have also been outright told by numerous men that I “threaten” their masculinity. I am actually a very feminine person in many ways, and I am a loving and loyal friend and partner. It is frustrating that my physical presence and the quickness of my mind conflicts with what society thinks a woman should be.
If you have used birth control in the past or are presently using birth control, do you have advice for other women regarding methods that worked well or didn’t work well for you?
Overall, hormonal birth control just makes me feel “off”, so now that I am married I just don’t use it. Back in the day, I did like the Nuva Ring more than others though because it was so easy. These days, we go the old-fashioned condom route and it works just fine!
In 2016, openly discussing one’s reproductive choices is still considered taboo, why do you suppose more women aren’t having these conversations?
I think, at best, women are afraid of judgment, and at worst, they are afraid for their careers and for their safety. People are very passionate about this issue on both sides, and unfortunately those who feel very strongly are unlikely to change their opinions, regardless of what facts and reasoning one might present. I find this very frustrating, so often choose not to engage with people on the issue who I do not perceive to be like-minded.
Where are you on the continuum of self-love? On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being Kanye West), how much do you love yourself and how do you reinforce and/or improve this?
I think I’m at about a 7. I feel good about myself on most days, and when I don’t I try to figure out why. I try to be as self-aware as possible in order to try to identify my mistakes and how I can improve the next time around. I think part of loving myself is realizing I am a work-in-progress.
