1. On my own…
I’ve taken a leaf out of Gemma’s book and have arrived for a conference all on my own. I’m sitting in the foyer of Perth Concert Hall, it’s 7pm and I guess I’m feeling quite chuffed and excited that I’ve come to something like this all on my own.
This opening event — an evening ‘In Conversation with Nicola Sturgeon’ and the launch of the first ever Women of the World Festival to come to Scotland — is a busy one. I’ll be sitting in the audience on a numbered seat, being that person that I would normally be looking at wondering what their story is and why they’re out on their own on a Friday night.
I guess I feel quite embarrassed to admit that I’d usually feel sorry for that person — wondering if they don’t have a partner or any friends they could’ve asked along. None of that’s true for me; I do have a partner and I do have friends I could’ve asked along — but I chose to come here on my own. Just like many of those other people I’ve looked at in the past most likely did too.
In fact, after I’d mentioned WOW in my Peloton newsletter I actually kind of regretted it in case anyone decided to come! As much as I love the women who make up the Peloton community, I was quite relieved when, by yesterday, nobody had said they fancied it. This just felt like something I should do on my own.
Over the next couple of days I’ll be going to workshops and talks and I think there’ll be other women ‘on their own’, but tonight feels different. I’m looking around the foyer of the concert hall, sitting in the café area waiting patiently for the auditorium doors to open, and it does seem that most people are here ‘with’ one or a few other people.
I’m smiling as I wonder how many of them are looking over at me and wondering what my story is. Wondering what brought me to WOW. On my own. Wondering if I don’t have a partner or friends I could’ve come with and feeling sorry for me. Wondering if I’ve got my head down writing in my notebook to save the embarrassment and awkwardness of having to look up and look around, feeling self-conscious because I’m on my own.
Nothing, actually, could be further from the truth.
I feel relaxed. I feel happy. I feel excited. I feel empowered. I feel chuffed that I’ve had the confidence and motivation to come here — on my own.
I’m feeling wonderful on my first night at WoW.
And nobody has even opened their mouth yet.
I guess that WoW, for me, has already done its job…
(From my notebook, Friday 27 October, 7.20pm)
