On Bravery

“Do you consider yourself a brave person?”

I am not a brave person. Or so I thought to myself, when my friend asked me this question.

“I think you might find you’re wrong.”

People often tell me I’m brave, even though I don’t feel brave often. What are they seeing that I’m not seeing?

Some say that bravery doing hard things. In the face of derision, embarrassment, rejection, or violence, we are confronted with two scenarios: do I stay true to myself, or do I stay safe? When this is the case, is that really a choice? How could one say which is harder? Bravery could be either one. Bravery can be loud and bold, bravery can be quiet and humble.

“How do you show yourself that you’re being brave?”

I am in awe of people who do things that I’m scared of doing. My inner voice says “I am so proud of that person, but I don’t think I could do what they’re doing.” Perceiving bravery can be affronting; we turn inwardly and brush up against our fears. But even though someone looks brave to me, they may not feel brave.

Some think I’m brave for doing things that they’re scared of doing, though I know I don’t feel brave in those situations. I don’t need bravery to do things that don’t scare me. I feel brave when publicly acknowledging issues that are deeply personal to me, because I fear judgement and rejection of who I am. I show myself I’m being brave by holding a mirror to my own fears and acting despite them.