I don't mean What I Say- MY THOUGHT
Tough to realize what I say and what I not, tough for others to think my thought.
One day I had an argument, ( well I always have an argument ) because this is me because I can't explain what I thought. Well leave it apart, one day I had an argument with my partner, well we were talking about why being said such things to me.
In the Argument “ in the funny chat, someone close to him said to me that after a few years we will be getting a cow and the from the expression I can tell they were referring to me but I stayed calm and try to keep silent( i might be wrong, but my thoughts were different). I know what I did was completely a wrong thing being a woman I should say something but the situation didn't let me, everyone was happy that time.
In my thought, I was fighting with myself that I should discuss this thing to my partner. My thoughts are bothering me very much, because I didn't utter a word that time, now I am here fighting with my thoughts.
After few hours I had words regarding this but it turned out in a massive argument, I know if I bring this then I might be ruining our night but I had to because this thing is bothering me very much. So we had arguments and at the end of the argument we end up fighting and saying we better stay away from each other.
He said sorry for this, but it wasn't sorry he was making me understand he and that person didn't mean that but my thoughts were saying a different story. I know I said such things in anger and he did also, I know I shouldn't have created a scene as I did but I had to, my thoughts were killing me. Being an independent girl I have to protect my respect if my thought is saying “this is not right” then I have to clear it.
The woman I am becoming,
it will cost me relations, people, career,
but at the end, if they meant to be with me they will be with me,
because i love them, hope they love me too.
This is the thing about woman, we are not allowed to say things if we find it wrong. BUT WHY???
My thoughts were not allowing me to accept it as a joke so I said this to him although he apologized for the mistake and that person too I can sense that it wasn't an apology it was their ego which was hurt.
We woman thinks that we can changes thing with our love no this is not true sometimes we had to speak for ourselves.
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