My Journey into Online Gaming
In life, there are moments when we seek a brief respite from our troubles. Depending on the situation, this could involve watching a half-hour sitcom or diving into a full-blown Netflix binge. However, when the need arises to fully extricate oneself from a challenging personal predicament, some turn to gaming.
Personally, I find that picking up online gaming often serves as an indicator of my inner turmoil. It’s a time when my thoughts race as I grapple with problems that seem insurmountable. In such moments, when I feel utterly powerless, the best course of action is to shift my focus entirely. For me, online gaming becomes the ultimate escape from life’s hardships.
My journey into the world of gaming began when an ex introduced me to World of Warcraft. I derived immense satisfaction from leveling up a variety of female characters, each bearing a resemblance to me, albeit with a distinct flair. What was most striking about these avatars was their unwavering control over their virtual destinies.
For instance, my mage possessed the ability to harness celestial powers and cast formidable fireballs that could bring any foe to their knees. I also created a hunter, accompanied by two formidable beasts that fiercely guarded her. In the gaming world, I felt a sense of empowerment and control that was sorely lacking in my real life. Most importantly, it provided me with a respite from ceaseless overthinking, offering a much-needed break.
Initially, I hesitated to join a guild in World of Warcraft, fearing the rumored drama that often permeated such groups. Tales from YouTube and various memes hinted at the soap opera-like dynamics within WOW guilds. After declining numerous invitations and battling boredom, I eventually succumbed to the persistence of a guild master who had extended his invitation two or three times.
At the outset, my involvement in the guild was cautious. I observed quietly, attempting to grasp the group’s dynamics. Gradually, as I grew more comfortable, I began to engage with fellow members through light-hearted banter. Admittedly, there were certain male gamers within the guild, including the guild master, who were more explicit in their interactions. However, my limited gaming skills and focus on gameplay deterred me from engaging in their conversations. I was fortunate to find a couple of friendly young gamers who took me under their wing.
Little did I anticipate that one of these individuals would develop a crush on me. Following my rejection, he proceeded to pursue other members, eventually attempting to maintain relationships with two simultaneously, all while falsely claiming that I was obsessively infatuated with him. To my amazement, this drama unfolded swiftly and unexpectedly, surpassing the level of theatrics typically associated with junior high encounters. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to suggest that this online gaming community could rival any Bravo network housewives franchise in terms of drama.
Let me be clear — I have never sought romantic involvement with anyone online, nor do I have any intention to do so. I have reiterated this stance multiple times in various ways. Regrettably, my words have gone unheard.
Due to my repeated rejections, I found myself targeted with negative labels and subjected to a barrage of derogatory female tropes within the past month of playing World of Warcraft. These included labels such as “crazy,” “needy,” “obsessed,” “overly sexual,” “naive,” “user,” “flirty,” “tease,” “angry,” “complainer,” “jealous,” “negative,” “not getting it” (i.e., stupid), “ungrateful,” and “uncompromising.”
In conclusion, my foray into the world of online gaming has not only offered me an escape from life’s challenges but has also exposed me to a unique brand of interpersonal drama. It serves as a stark reminder that the online gaming community, with its diverse personalities and dynamics, can be just as colorful and complex as the real world itself.
