Re-defining success

A world of false beliefs

Growing up, I was taught that being successful would mean having a lot of money and a house with a swimming pool. It took me around 38 years to truly understand the meaning of success.

Like everybody else (well, at least the people I know), I grew up learning that money buys everything, and… well, it does! But it doesn't necessarily buy peace, calm, and especially the feeling of being accomplished… it should, right?

The first hints

I started to work when I was 17 as a part-time cashier at a supermarket while I was finishing high school and through the first year of university. I was not poor, and I had enough, but somehow, I was driven to have my own independence. I am still a very independent and driven woman, but I also realized in the last years the enormous pressure I always felt to show I was capable. I eventually decided to quit that job and focus more on university because I loved it — I still do love studying. What happened? I cried because I wasn't going to have more money to buy my Mango jeans (give me a break, I was 18!), but guess what? I survived, and actually, as my energy was all focused on doing something I loved, I excelled in my grades and truly enjoyed the learning experience I was having.

Throughout life, I always had clear hints or reminders that I should be balancing life more. I always ended up prioritizing my work because I had this idea that work and earning money defined my value and success as a person. It took me a long time to understand that the pressure I was putting on myself was coming from the outside and not from my true self.

Where is the pressure coming from?

From everywhere. From primary school to TV shows, to newspapers, media, family, friends… The system is made for us to believe that success is to have a big house (with a swimming pool), an expensive car, and so on. Now, there is nothing wrong with wanting to have things and having them; the wrong thing here, in my perspective, is to think that money and things define our success as a person. It doesn't, or at least it shouldn't.

What is success then?

Last year by this time, I quit my job (I wrote an article about it). This time, I didn't cry because I wouldn't be able to buy Mango jeans, but it was a tough decision on many fronts. It's hard to let go of money — you know, because of this idea that it represents your value and success as a person…

As the year passed, I learned many things and completely changed my definition of success because the truth is that I never felt as accomplished and successful as I feel now, as a woman and as a professional. And I don't hold a big job role in a fancy company, nor a car, nor a house with a swimming pool, and if you read my previous article, you will know I don't even have a TV.

Success for me now has nothing to do with having lots of money and lots of things. Of course, it's nice to have it, but it doesn't define my success.

Feeling successful for me is to be true to my essence as a human being and my needs (intellectual, physical, emotional). Doing what gives me energy is a big part of it (and ditching the pressure to prove my value to others).

When you listen to what your body and mind want to do, life is bliss!

You will feel happiness often during your days (that leads to a great mood), and you will feel so proud that you are respecting yourself that eventually you will feel accomplished a big part of your time. Trust me.

Tip: To find out what gives you energy (that leads to bliss and happiness and so on), simply start to take note of the activities you do during your day that give you energy. For example, I started to notice I was gaining lots of energy from running workshops at work, teaching classes, and mentoring, so that is where I put my energy now!

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