Do this now to THINK your way to thriving!

Kathy Archer
Confident Women Leaders
6 min readOct 11, 2019

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I bet you are so done with survival mode, and you want to move to thriving 😀
You are looking for some work-life balance, more success in your career, to be doing fulfilling work and enjoying the people you are working with.

That’s not much to ask for, is it?
No, my dear, it’s not!

You have every right to have all of those things and what’s more…
It is possible!

Keep reading to find out how!!

Let us start with the question: Why haven’t you attained all of that yet?

My guess is that you have not found balance, fulfilment and confidence because your THINKING is tanking your success.

It’s time to learn how to shift your mindset to the mindset that it is actually going to help you get the success you desire!

  • You need to THINK that it is possible to have all of that.
  • You need to BELIEVE you can learn, grow and find balance.
  • You need to TRUST you can develop increased confidence and create strong leadership skills.

Yet, my guess is instead, you doubt yourself!

  • You doubt you can do all of that
  • You doubt your team and organization will be there to support you and come alongside you.

Let me show you what I mean
There are 3 reasons why your mindset, or the way you think, is getting in your way. Consider these 3 “truths” and see if they apply to you.

1) — Hope with no action.

  • Ugh… I wish things would get better.
  • OMG I can’t wait for things to get change.
  • I hope that things will be different after we finish this/that etc.

That blind hope alone is not going to change anything. In fact, it will leave things exactly the same way they are.

Hope is the belief that tomorrow will be better than today. But hope alone doesn’t change anything. You must take action to make that happen.

❓️ASK YOURSELF: Do I have hope without action?

2) — Blame without responsibility.

  • I don’t have time to do any training.
  • If only my boss would send me to that course.
  • So and so got the promotion and they didn’t even consider me

That’s blame without responsibility.

We spend a lot of time being in victim mode:

  • Nobody cares about me.
  • Nobody ever invests in me.
  • Poor me was me, nothing’s ever going to change.
  • Nobody ever puts time into developing me and my skills.

THINKING that way is not going to get you anywhere.
That is blame, finger-pointing, or waiting without taking responsibility.
You need to take responsibility for your growth and development.

❓️ASK YOURSELF: Am I blaming without taking responsibility?

3 — Being random instead of focused
We spend a lot of time taking whatever course shows up on our email. We tend to take the flavour of the month training:

  • Everybody’s taking courageous conversations, I better take “Courageous Conversations” too!

That randomness is not going to get you where you want to go.

THINKING that you should take whatever course is available might keep you feeling ok, but my dear, you are settling. THINKING this way keeps you in the tolerating or coping point on the surviving to thriving continuum — Ho hum, mediocre or just ok.

But here is the problem, if you’re competing to advance your career, and everybody has that same training, that’s not going to make you stand out. Nor is it going to help you develop YOUR gifts, talents and strengths.You need to create your OWN learning curriculum that is going to grow YOU!

❓️ASK YOURSELF: Am I randomly taking whatever training shows up?

If you want to make the changes that you’re looking for,
you need to take responsibility for
creating your own personal & professional learning plan.
You need to become response-able.

If you didn’t get the promotion, you could respond to that feedback. That’s feedback. That’s just information. I didn’t get the promotion. So what is it that you need to do to get the next promotion?

  • I need to develop this skill.
  • I need to have this training under my belt.
  • I need to be able to manage teams a little bit better.
  • I’m not very good at running staff meetings

What is the skill that you’re lacking that is holding you back from getting a promotion? When you ask that question, you are taking responsibility? You are being response-able.

❓️ASK YOURSELF:

  • What am I able to respond to?
  • Where can I take action?
  • What can I do?

Maybe it’s going and sitting down with your boss and saying,
Tell me why I didn’t get the promotion, what can I do to improve? That’s taking responsibility. ​

This kind of THINKING is called a curriculum mindset.

When you have a curriculum mindset, you are always asking yourself:

  • What are the skills I’m learning?
  • How am I learning these skills?
  • What tools am I using to develop those skills?
  • What am I developing in myself by learning this?

​The 3 components of a Curriculum Mindset

If you want to change your life, I need to get clear on these 3 components:

  1. GOAL
  2. PATH:
  3. TOOLS

Curriculum mindset example # 1
GOAL: Create more work-life balance.
PATH: I need to learn how to set boundaries
Great, but how are you going to learn to set better boundaries?

You just can’t wish that you’re going to be better at setting boundaries. You can’t just hope that one day you’re just going to magically feel more confident and be able to set better boundaries. That is hope with no action. You need tools to help you.

TOOLS: In my mind, if you don’t have a binder or book and a pen to write things down, you are not learning strategically. Your tools are:

  • The book you are reading and when you are reading it
  • The course you are taking
  • The practice (i.e. meditation, journaling) that you are doing that is scheduled into your calendar.
  • It might also be the person you connect with, a coach, mentor or guide.

Curriculum mindset example # 2
Maybe you want to be able to maintain your composure during tough conversations. But remember, you are not going to become a more emotionally intelligent person by wishing it would happen,

You’re certainly not going to become more emotionally intelligent by waiting for your boss to stop being such a jerk. That’s not going to change you.

You have to become response-able!
Take responsibility by developing your curriculum mindset:
What do I need to learn, and how will I learn it?

GOAL:: Stay composed during tough conversations.
PATH: Learn more about emotional intelligence and how to control my thoughts and emotions
TOOLS: Watch Kathy’s webinar: Saying composed during those tough conversations is to increase your emotional intelligence.

When you create your learning curriculum, things start to change for you.
Your curriculum mindset will get you out of survival mode and moving towards THRIVING!!!

⭐️MY CHALLENGE TO YOU⭐️

  • Develop a curriculum mindset,
  • Create your own personal and professional learning plan,
  • Get clear on what your goals are, what your plan is to get there. And then I want you to know what tools you’re using.

BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR TOOLS!!!
THINK of it this way: I need to develop my personal and professional learning plan and be strategic about that.

  • What’s my goal?
  • What’s my plan?
  • And what are my tools?
  • Where are my books?
  • What course am I working through?
  • Who’s helping me?
  • Where does my curriculum show up in my calendar?

🆘 A TOOL TO HELP WITH YOUR LEARNING CURRICULUM
If you need some help with the tools, I’ve created The Training Library for you!!!! Inside of The Training Library are the courses to help you get out of survival mode. There are courses to build your competence and confidence. I’ve included webinars for you on emotional intelligence and maintaining your composure.

AND…I’m doing a study group on one of the courses!
For 7 weeks, I’m going to be guiding you through the Willpower Essentials course, week-by-week in the Willpower Essentials Study Group.

  • > MEMBERS: If you are a member of The Training Library and want to join in, just reply to this email and say you want to join.
  • > NON-MEMBERS: If you are not yet a member, you can join now or purchase the course separately.

Don’t forget to watch your THINKING!
​Think you can and then take responsibly for making it happen! 🤗

Learn more here:

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Kathy Archer
Confident Women Leaders

Helping women leaders make it in the nonprofit world. Leadership Development Coach * Best-Selling Author * Wife * Mom * Grandma * Dog Mom to Max